THIS JUST IN: Keeping Up with the Kardashians is totally and completely scripted.
Okay, fine. That is not exactly just in, is it?
By now, most people have arrived at the conclusion that this so-called reality show is more scripted than your typical celebrity apology.
But there still remains certain secrets about Keeping Up with the Kardashians that the family at the center would prefer you did not learn.
Such as? We're so glad you asked...
This is Not Kris Jenner's House!
Sorry to burst your bubble. But exteriors of Jenner's house are filmed about 20 miles from where Jenner actually resides.
What a Nice Guy!
Yup, we're talking about Kris Humphries here. Producer Russell Jay admitted in a deposition that Kim's ex-husband was made to look like the bad guy in multiple scenes that were "scripted, reshot, or edited."
Speaking of Kris...
... that proposal scene was staged by producers and shot more than once.
And Another Thing!
About Humphries' proposal: Kim had a role in the lighting, the planning... everything. She knew exactly what was coming before it happened.
Cry Us a River
With some help, that is. Sources have said Kardashian uses a "tear stick" to induce the emotional scenes we've seen from her so many times on screen.
Save Your (Fake) Tears
Remember during one 2011 episode? When the family went to Bora Bora on vacation and Kim lost her diamond earring in the water? Yeah. That never actually happened. She didn't lose anything.
Going West, Young Men and Women
Back in 2013, the Kardashians shot their Christmas card and made it appear as if David LaChapelle was the brains behind the shoot. However, we can confirm that Kanye West was the master mind behind the sketches, costumes, makeup and art direction.
Worst Prank Ever?
Remember nack when Kim was horrified because Kris and Khloe toiled paper-ed her house in July 2013? That was phony. Kim knew all about it ahead of time.
A Bad Ring To It
In"A Surprise Engagement Pt. 1," Kim was seen wearing her engagement ring... before Kanye actually proposed! We're just saying: this was terrible editing or the proposal was invented for the cameras.
They're Actually in Love!
We've heard from many insiders that every Scott Disick and Kourtney fight is staged. They remain in love. They are great parents behind the scenes. Producers have simply used this relationship to build tension and drama.
Kim Leaked Her Own Sex Tape with Ray J
This is unrelated to the show, except that it did lead to the show's eventual success. It just feels worth mentioning again and again in case some folks out there still don't believe it.
She Admits It!
"I have been offered the opportunity to actually go back and edit things out," Kris Jenner once said. Sort of takes the "real" out of "reality," doesn't it?
Kylie Has Fake Boobs!
Okay, this is not a secret specific to the show. But come on. It HAS to be true, right?