Let’s be real about this: if your last name is Kardashian, odds are that you are or have been unlucky in love.
Call it a curse — or, sorry, kurse — or destiny or karma, but if you think about it, cheating has plagued so very, very many relationships these people have had.
Lamar and his brothel, Tristan and his wandering penis, Tyga’s insistence on getting with girls who look like Kylie.
It’s weird. It’s all very weird.
But, just for fun (and for science!), let’s review all the best scandals, all right?
O.J. Simpson (Getty) Yep, O.J. Simpson, the original Kardashian side piece — allegedly, anyway. As the legend goes, back in the day Kris Jenner and Robert Kardashian were close with O.J. and Nicole Simpson. The rumors never really go into detail about the origin of this possible affair, but people sure do love to speculate that O.J. is Khloe’s real father!
Alex Roldan There’s also this guy that used to be Kris’ hairdresser, a lot of people think he could be Khloe’s biological father, too. Anybody but Robert Kardashian, huh, you naysayers?
Come On, Kris Kris and Robert Kardashian were divorced after she had an affair with a man named Todd Waterman, and near the end of her marriage to Caitlyn Jenner, she was hanging around with him again. Is she simply too much woman for one partner?!
Michael Girgenti Kourtney Kardashian has always been pretty faithful in her relationships, but a male model named Michael Girgenti would like us to think otherwise. A few years ago he came out of the woodwork to claim that he’s the biological father of Kourtney’s oldest son, Mason. Spoiler: he is not.
Jackie Cruz There was one time though that Kourtney did nearly step out on Scott Disick. They weren’t exactly together at the time — this was when they were on-again, off-again — but Kourtney met a lady named Jackie Cruz at an art class in Miami and they made out at a club. Jackie went on to appear on Orange is the New Black, and it’s safe to say she didn’t destroy Kourtney and Scott’s relationship.
Chloe Bartoli Nope, Scott destroyed their relationship pretty much completely when he was photographed getting fresh with Chloe Bartoli on the beach back in 2015.
Try Harder, Scott (E!) Then several months after that when it seemed like Kourtney may be willing to give him another chance, he ruined it by bringing a side chick along on the big Kardashian family vacation. Kim called the girl a whore, it kicked off his big downward spiral. Side pieces ruin lives.
You Go, Kim! Like her big sister, Kim has always been loyal to her fellas. Unlike her big sister, she’s had pretty good luck with her fellas being faithful to her, too. Mostly, anyway.
Suspicions (Getty) Rumor has it that Kris Humphries was suspicious that Kim had cheated on him with Kanye during their infamous 72-day marriage. It’s possible, but then again, everything is, you know? That’s what makes rumors fun.
Riccardo Tisci (Getty) There aren’t many stories about Kim’s boyfriends and husbands being unfaithful — the famous ones, anwyay — but one little rumor that goes around from time to time is that Kanye has been and perhaps still is involved with Italian fashion designer Riccardo Tisci.
Khloe, Honey … As you surely know, here’s where we really get into some sad, sad stuff — Khloe’s relationship history.
D.C. Stripper (Getty) Khloe’s relationship with Lamar was the first widely publicized relationship she was in after the family got famous — they were married in 2009, shortly after they met. The first time he was rumored to have cheated on her was three years later, when tabloids reported that he’d gotten friendly with another woman at a strip club in Washington D.C.
What a Skill In 2016, Khloe said in an interview that he’d cheated on her many times, that he was “so good” at it and that he’d kept any and all text message exchanges with other women on his assistant’s phone instead of his own.
Shame, Shame (2016 Getty Images) “It is humiliating on any level,” she admitted, “but I found out he was cheating on me the majority of our marriage, I just didn’t know.” So yes, not a great situation when one’s spouse has too many side chicks to name.
… Khloe?! In a shocking turn of events, some people think Khloe became a side chick herself when she began dating Tristan Thompson in 2016. When they got together, he was expecting a child with Jordan Craig, and there may have been a little bit of overlap between those relationships, though Kardashian sources insist Tristan was single when Khloe met him.
Ugh (Getty) Either way, Tristan has proven himself to be a dog. Not in a cute, cuddly way, either.
More D.C. Ladies (Getty) He was seen making out and getting handsy with three unnamed women in a D.C. nightclub back in October, when Khloe was three months pregnant with their child.
SMH There’s also real live video footage of him going into a hotel with another lady, rumored to be a woman named Lani Brown, in Manhattan just days before Khloe gave birth to their daughter.
ms.stephaniee_ This woman — we presume her name is Stephanie, though we only know her by her Instagram handle — claims that she was hooking up with Tristan, too. She even says she’s pregnant!
Dumb (Frazer Harrison/Getty Images) Moving right along to the next Kardashian … Rob dated Adrienne Bailon for a couple of years nearly a decade ago, and while they were together — you guessed it! — he was also together with someone else. He deeply regretted it, and obviously things never got any better in his love life after screwing that relationship up.
Karma? In 2012, Rob dated Rita Ora, and after they broke up, he claimed that she cheated on him with “nearly 20 dudes.” The whole thing really did a number on him — this was when he began gaining weight, and he was still agonizing over it all even on his brief reality show with Blac Chyna.
Speaking of Chyna … Rob and Chyna obviously didn’t have the healthiest relationship, and they both accused each other of cheating many, many times.
This Guy He said that she was sleeping with this guy while she was with him — he shared the photo during that same rant with the revenge porn.
And This Guy He accused this guy of sharing a selfie from the very bed he and Chyna shared.
Bitches As for Rob’s infidelity, we don’t have names or photos of any possible side chicks, but we do know that Chyna had a thing against his habit of “texting bitches.”
Tahiry Jose Kendall is probably the most private family member, but it does seem pretty clear that she was with rapper A$AP Rocky for a while. Last year, he was romantically linked to Tahiry Jose of Love & Hip Hop: New York. Not cool, Rocky.
Annalu Cardoso Beginning in 2014, Tyga allegedly began sneaking behind Kylie’s back to see Brazilian model Annalu Cardoso. Word is that he waited to see her until Kylie was out of the country, because you don’t want to piss off your super famous 17-year-old girlfriend, right?
Bad Tyga (Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images for Yeezy Season 4) Earlier this year, Tyga released a song in which he seemed to reveal that he actually had many, many more side chicks than just Annalu. In “King of the Jungle,” he rapped “I been unfaithful, you were an angel / I ran off with your halo, yeah, I made you unstable.” Smooth move, Tyga.
Travis Scott (Getty) Remarkably, although Kylie is very much with Travis Scott these days and, you know, they have a baby together and everything, there may have been some overlap between her relationship with him and her relationship with Tyga. Did Travis Scott move from side dude to baby daddy?!
Sunrise, Sunset And believe it or not, even though they do share little Stormi, rumors persist that Kylie is afraid that Travis has another lady on the side — or that he will have one soon.
Sigh … Has anyone in this entire family ever had a stable, normal, non-dramatic relationship? Ever?