Hollywood has produced a long list of great mothers, to be sure.
These women are not on it, though. No sir, no ma’am. No way.
Think we’re being too harsh, or maybe not giving them a chance?
We beg to differ. Scroll through this slideshow of the worst this town has to offer and try to decide not whether everyone on it is a terrible mom …
… but who is the worst of the worst. The competition is stiff.
In honor of Mother’s Day, let’s look at the contenders!
Kate Gosselin
Kate Gosselin has eight children. And given her non-stop string of questionable behavior and shameless antics, we feel sorry for each and every one of them. Sorry, we’re not buying the “working mom” bit … there are ways to work and put food on the table while still being a more tolerable human being who sets a better example. Jon is not exactly a prize himself but let’s be real.
Kris Jenner
Kris Jenner is sort of evil. Okay, more than sort of. She likes using her kids to make a lot of money. There’s a reason they call her the Momager, and why she is trying to trademark the term Momager … and why the Kardashian and Jenner children act the way they do, with the priorities they seem to embody.
Dina Lohan
Dina Lohan is responsible for Lindsay Lohan. What else needs to be said? Well, this: Dina Lohan is a wannabe Momager … sort of like a less shrewd, less intelligent, substance abuse-ravaged version of Kris Jenner.
Jenelle Evans
Jenelle Evans, mother to two sons, only has custody of one of them because of her train wreck past, and while many young moms turn things around, she continues to rack up arrests – 15, at least, by our count – to this day, and remains as unstable as when she first burst onto the Teen Mom 2 scene. If not more so.
Farrah Abraham
Farrah Abraham has starred in a sex tape AND brought a life into the world. Not many women can say that … well, actually a decent number of celebrities can these days. But Farrah has taken it to a new level, not just with her porn career, but with the associated lies she tells about it, and the way she conducts herself on a daily basis, including with regards to Sophia, her daughter. Her poor, innocent daughter.
Nadya Suleman
Nadya Suleman is best known as the Octomom, because she had eight kids at one time. And boy do they look happy at this party. But it should be the SUCK-tomom, because she already had six children she couldn’t support before she had eight more implanted inside her clown car uterus by a shady doctor to a total of 14. Which she can’t support and occasionally commits welfare fraud on behalf of. While being an embarrassment to America and humanity as a whole. We could go on.
Linda Hogan
Linda Hogan was married to Hulk Hogan for many years. She has since dated a much younger man and made a mockery of herself … almost as much of a mockery as he has made, which is really saying something at this point.
Gwyneth Paltrow
Whether she’s happily, blissfully extolling the virtues of marriage or of conscious uncoupling, Gwyneth Paltrow is as stuck up and mind-numbingly irritating as they come. We injured our neck the last time we tried to look at the actress, and couldn’t even lay eyes on her … that’s how high her horse is. #burn
Brooke Mueller
Brooke Mueller … yikes. She has been to rehab often and has twins with Charlie Sheen, and boy, are we anticipating some high therapy bills for Bob and Max someday. Because for all of Charlie’s issues … Brooke may have as many or more. And we’re not talking “issues” like regular people go through issues. We’re talking crack pipe burns.
Courtney Love
The drug-addled ex-wife of the late Nirvana rocker Kurt Cobian has never seen eye-to-eye with her daughter Frances Bean Cobain who filed a restraining order against her at one point and tried to emancipate herself legally from her mom at another point. Love infamously lost custody after an oxytocin overdose and drug possession charges. Luckily for Bean, she’s now a legal adult and can call the shots.
Britney Spears
Unfair to group Britney Spears in with some of these other clowns? Perhaps. She has really turned things around in recent years. Yet the iconic pop starlet once dropped one of her kids on the head (leaving him with a fractured skull), drove around with her kids on her lap, and spiraled so far out of control that she neglected her two sons, had to be placed on a 5150 psychiatric hold after she locked herself and the kids in a bathroom, and lost custody. To KEVIN FEDERLINE.
Kate Moss
Not unlike Britney, Kate Moss these days is a tamer version of the infamous supermodel we used to know, and a good thing too. She been popped for drug possession on several occasions and worse yet, routinely left her daughter around psycho junkie lover Pete Doherty. Kate spent so much time high or in rehab, she was largely MIA from daughter Lila’s life for a period of years.
Michelle Duggar
Sorry Michelle. We were Duggar apologists for some time, even if we vehemently disagreed with some of their personal opinions, statements and practices. But once Josh Duggar’s scandals and hypocrisy – and his parents’ role in sweeping them under the rug – were exposed? It’s hard to look at them the same way again, and impossible not to blame their hard line parenting rules for some of the damage he’s caused.