He is an older Jewish man who, before deciding to inspect ladies down there for a living, played for the Mets. He inserted the speculum as he described his wife’s commitment to her spin classes.

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The coolest clique at school was a group of rugby-playing, neon-wearing lesbians.

There I am, drunk on a spring night, yanking my tampon out and hurling it into a bush outside the church.

I'd create my own schedule that served my need to eat a rich snack every 5-15 minutes.

I was allowed to take my puppy to gym class. My best friend played a didgeridoo he bought off the Internet.

marriage, the afterlife, Woody Allen.

Over time, my belief in many things has wavered

If you have a vagina, by birth or by choice, you will be called 'mami' or 'sweetie' or 'Britney Spears.'

I associate pain in the vagina with weakness and sadness.

My mother didn’t bother asking why I had opened Grace’s vagina. This was within the spectrum of things that I did.

Most people’s jobs don’t consist of slamming your vagina against the flaccid, nylon-wrapped penis of a guy wearing massive amounts of foundation to conceal his assne.

drama, jealousy, drunkenness, friendships ended and cats inherited.

The story has everything

I am thinking particularly of a shower I took where the lower half of my body was under the running water and the upper half was laid out on the bath mat, eating a loaf of bread.