Maci is still scared. Well when she stops lieing [sic] being immature like the rest might be hope of me associating with them. I wonder if her book is full of lies like her mouth … Maybe Vivid should apologize to Teen Mom girls, still crying and envious of my celebrity sex tape. They named it ... Should we ask after the #MayPac hug if Maci is ever going to mature? Enjoy watching yourself. [via Twitter]

After years of utilizing plastic surgery for positive changes in my life, I've seen it help me as a person and help my life thrive.

They need to look at those parts of their society and maybe just not want to kill each other and get rid of somebody like Hitler.

I say go where the getting is good. I'm not going to find such marriage material at a club. I do dabble with, like, some businessmen that I do meet.

I was not surrounded by crazy people with a psychopath's fingers in my vagina. There was no way this was happening. It had to be a nightmare and I'd wake up in a moment.

I pulled my panties to the side, exposing my pink flesh to the audience, and slid the dildo inside of me. It was cool, smooth and a completely different sensation from a cyberskin vibrator or a real cock.

I was more than ready for a shower. I didn't do a bukkake scene, but it felt like it. My body was swimming with Jimmy semen.

I felt some pain, but I was a sex warrior and I moaned louder to get Jimmy more aroused. I knew I shouldn't have been tricking myself into not feeling pain, what with my period and incisions.

I held out my hand, no longer Fallon the actress. I was Fallon the celebrity sex tape star. The one to beat all the other wannabe celebrities before and after me.

I'd certainly woken up and realized Jimmy Heinz wasn't who I wanted him to be. He was a 36-year-old porn star. Who had tried to do things outside of porn but would only ever be known for the use of his dick.

It wasn't as titillating as I thought it would be with someone as attractive as Kim. If I ever did a sex tape, I'd want better quality footage for sure.

I really enjoy at this time of my life writing about sex. I think it's because I'm 22, and kind of single. What better to express yourself in a positive way than writing.

Farrah Abraham Biography

Farrah
Farrah Abraham is the star of Teen Mom and the mother of Sophia Laurent Abraham. Sophia's father (Derek Underwood) was killed in a car... More »
Full Name
Farrah Abraham