"I was once the girl buying all those magazines and now I'm on the cover and in magazines and am the star of every occasion. I once strived to be the best in reality television and now I'm the top reality star and top 10 listed female celebrity in the nation. I once couldn't finish a book, and now I made the New York Times Best Sellers List and wrote a memoir, trilogy and children's book." - via LinkedIn

"I once saw a boy run a lemonade Stand on a corner. I opened my own and took all of his business and made the local news paper by being sweet & savvy! Plus I hired the neighbor kids to help me and started other local neighborhood businesses. I was once the cart girl at a grocery store starting at minimum wage and corperate America & had to apply 3 times before getting the job, then worked my way up the ladder to bag sacker, cashier, catering and food sampler. Today I've had my own products being sold in whole foods and grocery stores, selling out." - from her (hilariously real) LinkedIn page

"It’s sad that such a phenomenal show will no longer have its biggest talent on the show because of women hating, sex shaming, hate crimes, selfish, Weinstein company power trip behaviors against a professional hard working, honest mother." - on being let go from Teen Mom OG

"Viacom let me go because as a Business Mogul I act like an adult and part take in adult promotions and activities that other adults do for FREE or in private!" - on getting fired from Teen Mom OG (allegedly, maybe)

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"I don’t share my stage. I mean, I don’t give a s--t about either of them, and I’m sick of them trying to be like me. They’re obsessed with me. I sent them a cease and desist so they need to leave me out of their books, out of their interviews. I don’t want anything to do with them. They’re just jealous or envious. I’ve tried to be friends with them over the years, and I’m just not anymore." - on arch nemeses Amber Portwood and Matt Baier

"I will always have a place in my heart for reality TV as I [have] history in reality television and for social issues time and time again … but I must continue creating in a different way in my free time." - on branching out into acting

"I get better treatment because I'm a hardworking business mogul and amazing mother who holds herself with respect and keeps production accountable and always goes above and beyond what is asked. And I stay above the trash they have on the show. Sadly, the girls are not taken seriously because of how they conduct themselves, and they're to blame, not me." - Farrah on her obvious superiority

"Look, I don't make anyone run out there. I’m not going to play the high school game of 'let me beat your ass.' That's where [my co-stars] are and I respect where they are in their lives and their journeys but that's not how I'm conducting myself." - Farrah, in the wake of the reunion fight

"If I'm the only one that's going to be honest and up front and give a real s--t about someone, I guess you can call me hateful, I'm horrible, I'm not a real friend, but I am a true friend." - Farrah on friendship

"I have a better life without them in my life. Even though I'm much separate and apart from them, they keep including themselves and talking about me." - Abraham on her co-stars, without irony

"I love all of you people, I don't give two drops of dried up pigeon sh-t on concrete how you feel about me." - Farrah's kind words for her fans

"Should we have the first business man in history for president or should we have first women in history for president? For my daughter, I think Trump would be [the best candidate]. Grab life by the pussy, bitches!" - Farrah on her support for would-be President Trump