"An Uber driver almost raped me, so I don't know about Uber … I felt like I was getting raped...I felt like I almost got raped. You're violating me by looking at me. Don't act like a rapist ... I have a severe problem with that." - Farrah, confused at what being a rapist is

“F—kin monkey ewe s—t come up 4 what she is a nothing.” - Farrah going all racist, NSFW and nonsensical on Blac Chyna for no reason at all

"I don't do that with them." - Farrah on sex with black men (seriously)

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"I've been beating out Kim on a lot of things." - Farrah on rival Kim Kardashian, without explaining what things those actually might be

Loosing [sic] your teeth should be special, I like to add passion and something special to everything ... These years are flying bye [sic] and soon $600 won’t be surprising to my daughter and the tooth fairy will just be imaginary and made up. So $600 for one tooth is a great addition to her college fund and let’s [SIC] her have a big surprise. You’re only a kid once! - On giving her six-year-old $600 for a lost tooth

PictureDay! #SchoolPictures Sophia is so beautiful! 1st Grade #MomMonday #MakeLifeBetterInAWord #Blessed - Farrah on Sophia's school photo, as only she can put it

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I think there’s different parenting styles. At that time we really didn't [have a relationship] because of some abusive things that happened. My parents got put into jail ... [we] have such a different dynamic now. Not everyone's perfect. We do learn and we grow. - Farrah on her abusive past

I’m further along in life than she is ... I heard she lost her kid - maybe she should focus on that. - Farrah on Leah Messer, who shaded after the 2016 Teen Mom trailer dropped

Don’t ever talk about things in front of your children that are supposed to be between you and your husband only. Don’t ever put your husband down in front of your children or other people, especially your families. Talk privately. We praise publicly, but we correct privately. - Michelle

There are going to be those times in your marriage where you might not always agree; you might not see things eye to eye and sometimes you may need a trusted third party to be a counsel for you in your marriage. Feel free to go to that trusted wise counsel that you both respect and get counsel when you need it. We have all been there. - Michelle

And so be available, and not just available, but be joyfully available for him. Smile and be willing to say, 'Yes, sweetie I am here for you,' NO MATTER WHAT, even though you may be exhausted and big and pregnant and you may not feel like he feels. 'I'm still here for you and I'm going to meet that need because I know it's a need for you.' - Michelle

No matter what I've been doing, I've been doing the best in it that we know of. What I'm saying by that is, if I'm developing novelty toys, I'm winning awards. If I'm writing books, I'm a New York Times bestseller … how do I do it all? I don't know.