"I get better treatment because I'm a hardworking business mogul and amazing mother who holds herself with respect and keeps production accountable and always goes above and beyond what is asked. And I stay above the trash they have on the show. Sadly, the girls are not taken seriously because of how they conduct themselves, and they're to blame, not me." - Farrah on her obvious superiority

"Look, I don't make anyone run out there. I’m not going to play the high school game of 'let me beat your ass.' That's where [my co-stars] are and I respect where they are in their lives and their journeys but that's not how I'm conducting myself." - Farrah, in the wake of the reunion fight

"If I'm the only one that's going to be honest and up front and give a real s--t about someone, I guess you can call me hateful, I'm horrible, I'm not a real friend, but I am a true friend." - Farrah on friendship

"I have a better life without them in my life. Even though I'm much separate and apart from them, they keep including themselves and talking about me." - Abraham on her co-stars, without irony

"I love all of you people, I don't give two drops of dried up pigeon sh-t on concrete how you feel about me." - Farrah's kind words for her fans

"Should we have the first business man in history for president or should we have first women in history for president? For my daughter, I think Trump would be [the best candidate]. Grab life by the pussy, bitches!" - Farrah on her support for would-be President Trump

"An Uber driver almost raped me, so I don't know about Uber … I felt like I was getting raped...I felt like I almost got raped. You're violating me by looking at me. Don't act like a rapist ... I have a severe problem with that." - Farrah, confused at what being a rapist is

“F—kin monkey ewe s—t come up 4 what she is a nothing.” - Farrah going all racist, NSFW and nonsensical on Blac Chyna for no reason at all

"I don't do that with them." - Farrah on sex with black men (seriously)

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"I've been beating out Kim on a lot of things." - Farrah on rival Kim Kardashian, without explaining what things those actually might be

Loosing [sic] your teeth should be special, I like to add passion and something special to everything ... These years are flying bye [sic] and soon $600 won’t be surprising to my daughter and the tooth fairy will just be imaginary and made up. So $600 for one tooth is a great addition to her college fund and let’s [SIC] her have a big surprise. You’re only a kid once! - On giving her six-year-old $600 for a lost tooth

PictureDay! #SchoolPictures Sophia is so beautiful! 1st Grade #MomMonday #MakeLifeBetterInAWord #Blessed - Farrah on Sophia's school photo, as only she can put it

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