· Oprah hinted to her television audience she had a “deep, dark family secret” and would reveal it on Monday’s show, then admitted she and longtime boyfriend “Stedman [Graham] and I have a daughter.” But she hasn’t been away from cameras long enough to carry a pregnancy with nobody noticing and it’s unlikely she adopted, so the story could turn out to be as dull as revealing Stedman’s daughter from a previous marriage. Though we thought these two split up.
· The publicity stunt that is Tom Cruise‘s relationship with Katie Holmes continues in earnest this week, with Tommy boy taking Katie to see Cirque de Soleil’s “Ka” in Vegas (he’s already seen in twice) and spending a half hour posing for photos. We get it Tom, you’re almost not gay!
· Google’s PR machine is busy flipping the story about its news source weighting technology into one of “quality” news results. We have a good idea where Jossip will rank in the new system, and it won’t be next to CNN.
· It’d be a disservice to our readers if we didn’t mention the impending legal battle between the (inaccessible) New York Post‘s Page Six and PageSixSixSix’s Mario “Perez” Lavandeira, a FOJ (friend of Jossip). The NYP is claiming trademark infringement while Mario is claiming, more irrelevantly, that Jessica Simpson tasted some Fred Durst dick.
· Ex-Tyco chief Dennis Kozlowski didn’t even care for all those apartment furnishings his company “bought for him,” finding some so “God-awful” he stuffed them in the closet .. you know, when he was actually there to open the closet.
· Martha Stewart‘s new show will be renamed Martha when it reappears on airwaves September 12, ensuring we’ll have two consecutive days of mourning.
· Meryl Streep will play Vogue‘s Anna Wintour in Fox’s The Devil Wears Prada, based on Lauren Weisberger‘s book.