Fri / 11 Mar 2005
Michael Jackson: Suicide watch
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If Michael Jackson were to committ suicide, it would mean several things: Kids would have to start paying to visit Neverland, the Beatles catalog would be chopped up for sale and there would be no more awkward performances with a white, gay, haggardly looking guy with Britney Spears (except in her bedroom or hotel suite balcony).
All both of Jackson’s friends are scared he might off himself, and when Fox News gossipist Roger Friedman says “I am not kidding,” you gotta believe him.
With no cash (brother Randy is footing the Neverland staff bill) and his accuser testifying on the stand, Jackson could be worth more alive than dead. Though who knows if he’s been making his life insurance premiums.
Jossip