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Last Night On <em>American Idol</em>: 17 Year Old Wunderkinds, Jersey Stinkbombs, And A Fat Lady Who Can Really Sing / Jossip




Last Night On American Idol: 17 Year Old Wunderkinds, Jersey Stinkbombs, And A Fat Lady Who Can Really Sing
— Thu, Feb 22, 2007 —

We’re going to again turn to the “American Idol” website, and let the hard-core Idol devotees (and opinionated haters) give their impressions of last night’s episode. As usual, please be sure to fill us in on anything we missed, and look forward to our continued reliance on this feature, as we present you with forthcoming editions of “Last Night On American Idol.”

Synopsis:
The ladies showed off their stuff last night, and proved that they are—on the whole—infinitely more talented than their male counterparts. Plus, the tension between Simon and Ryan reached a fever pitch when Simon dryly informed one contestant (who’d evidently picked the wrong genre) “it would be like Ryan doing the news.” ZING! Meanwhile, a sedated Paula and low-key Randy rounded out the judging table, but neither one could hold a candle to the mouthy Brit.

Simon’s Quotes of the Night—Extended Edition:

• “When you sing, you have the personality of a candle. There’s nothing to remember. You’re just like this thing that sings, and then two singers later, I’m going to forget you.”

Simon: How old are you?
Contestant: Twenty-four.
Simon: Well, you sounded forty. That was the problem. It was a bit like being at an, actually, reasonably good hotel, and that’s the last song of the evening. You know, everything about you tonight was old. the song choice, just everything…it was a little boring, I thought.

• “The good thing is, you’re attractive. The bad news is, it didn’t work. It was way, way, way too big for you, that song. And I think this has seriously, seriously damaged your chances of remaining here another week. Sorry.”

• “Well, the irony was, you kept singing that line ‘I’m special’ and it wasn’t. I thought actually it was a mess. I thought you lost it halfway through. I think the applause of the crowd made you think it was better than it was…you are going to be reliant on your looks at the moment, not your voice.”

Highlights/Amusing Observations:
• “Antoiletta hit the stage next. She hit it hard???This past week some ???lovely??? pictures have surfaced of this Jersey girl. Among them are topless photos, pictures of her drinking, even though she is underage, and my personal favorite, Antoiletta sitting on the porcelain throne. I think the toilet picture is appropriate because that is where her voice was.”

• “Next was Amy Krebs who sung Bonnie Raitt’s “I Can’t Make You Love Me.” Ouch. Her voice was like a bowl of Rice Krispies sitting in sour milk making these snap, crackle and pop sounds.”

• “Ryan was being an obnoxious instigator, trying to upset Simon who wasn’t biting. Are these the same two who were buddy-buddy on Leno this week? Oh the games they play with us…”

• “Randy said the performance of “Stay” wasn’t working for him and Simon thought she was self-indulgent, aggressive, unnatural and fake.”

• “Following Stephanie was Amy Krebs. She sang, ???I can???t make you love me.??? And she was right. I didn???t love her.”

• “Melinda sounds good, but it makes my neck hurt to watch her.”

Last Recap:
Last Night On American Idol: Dads Gone Wild, Snooty Seacrests And A Bunch Of Untalented Male Singers

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ONE.

…Carry on.

February 22, 2007 6:00 PM

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