Happy Birthday, Jossip! 38498
Today, Jossip celebrates its fourth wonderful year of existence. In honor of this momentous occasion, each editor has come up with a list of goals/achievements he/she hopes to have accomplished by the time Jossip turns five. Next up: Corynne Steindler*
By this time next year, I will have???.
1. Stopped accepting $1,000 Christmas gifts on behalf of Richard Johnson.
2. Discovered how to attend an open bar without getting intoxicated to the point of slipping off the bar stool. Twice.
3. Gotten a Blackberry.
4. Stopped referring to Liz Smith as “The Cryptkeeper.”
5. Finally admitted the shameful truth and told the world “Yes, I am madly in love with Neel Shah.”
6. Acknowledged that while my boss trusts me to write time-sensitive, borderline libelous charges about litigious celebrities for a living, he still doesn’t trust me to handle his baby daughter’s poopy diapers.
7. Discontinued the practice of making out with sources and then nervously joking, “This is off the record, right?”
8. Learned how to discuss the “Sarah Polonsky” incident without squirming uncontrollably.
9. Developed a better fake-laugh in anticipation of Paula Froelich’s next stand-up “comedy” performance.
10. Put my feud with Abbe Diaz to rest over a nice dinner…at a restaurant that she expects me to plug.
11. Stopped describing my current job as “a stepping stone.”
*As imagined by Debbie Newman. And (to a lesser extent) her sort-of boss.
There are no comments yet. Post yours!