Jersey Shore

There was a time, not even all that long ago, when the Jersey Shore cast only cared about three things:

Doing laundry. Getting a tan. And going to the gym.

Back in December 2019, Snooki announced that she was retiring from Jersey Shore.

This was not the usual case of a reality star stepping away from a long-running show -- instead, it was more akin to Beyonce "retiring" from Destiny's Child.

Even following a season that featured a prison release, an arrest for domestic violence and the most controversial wedding reception speech in reality TV history, many thought this was it for Jersey Shore.

Jersey Shore: Family Vacation (yes, that's technically its name, three years into the revival) Season 3 is in the books.

It came to an on Thursday night, not only with a bang, but with a total and complete breakdown!

It finally happened, Jersey Shore: Family Vacation viewers.

Following weeks and weeks of hype, the MTV realitiy series at last aired the speech Deena, Snooki and Jenni gave at Angelina's wedding reception.

Well, another episode of Jersey Shore has come and gone, and we still haven't seen the infamous Angelina wedding roast.

(Remember when this show was famous for how much drama and insanity it would to cram into a single episode? Now it's got so much filler it should be called Jersey More.)

We're inching ever closer to it, Jersey Shore: Family Vacation viewers.

As you very likely know by now, Angelina had a total meltdown at her wedding reception in November because her co-stars/bridesmaids delivered an X-rated, insult-filled toast.

Weddings are a time for love, joy and romance.

Unless you get married in front of the Jersey Shore: Family Vacation cameras, that is. 

Ronnie Ortiz-Magro received a double dose of very good news this week.

First, as previously reported, the troubled Jersey Shore cast member reached a plea deal several months after his arrest for domestic violence in which he will likely avoid jail time.

Last fall, Ronnie Ortiz-Magro was accused of threatening his baby mama, stealing his daughter from her arms and barricading himself and his child inside of a house.

In the ensuing months, the question on the minds of Jersey Shore fans everywhere has been this:

Will the saga of Zack Carpinello groping Angelina Pivarnick ever come to an end?

In case you're a bit confused as to why in the hell the Jersey Shore gang is still talking about that wild night in Vegas almost a year later, here's a short timeline of events:

Back in the summer of 2019 -- a different time in which people recklessly gathered in groups larger than 10 and stood closer to each other than 6 feet -- an event of unknowable significance transpired.

We're talking, of course, about the time that Zack Carpinello groped Angelina Pivarnick.

Back in October of 2019, Jersey Shore aired a scene so shocking that the stars of show themselves were taken aback.

Yes, we're talking about the scene in which Zack Carpinello groped Angelina Pivarnick while his girlfriend, Jenni Farley, was passed out at his feet.

A little over a year ago, Sammi Giancola became engaged to Christian Biscardi.

Like any good fiance, he just cannot stop gushing and swooning over her -- even over a simple selfie.

In its reboot seasons, Jersey Shore has occasionally tested the limits of viewers' patience with filler episodes in which next to nothing transpires.

But while we've lowered our expectations from the show's wilder days, we never thought we'd see the day when a meeting with a prenup lawyer is considered a storyline.

You know what they say about denial, right?

It's not just a river in Egypt.

Back in November, Angelina Pivarnick married Chris Larangeira.

The reception was a flat-out mess, and for some reason, the female members of the Jersey Shore cast decided to roast Angelina rather than deliver a proper toast.

The Jersey Shore cast was way ahead of the rest of us when it comes to social distancing.

They mostly spend these recent episodes wandering around a massive mansion and occasionally roasting one another for entertainment.

It's a moment that was a long, long, long time coming ...

Finally, after years of legal wrangling and 8 months behind bars, Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino is home from prison and ready to party (soberly, of course) with his Jersey Shore family.

It may have been the most long-anticipated scene in the history of reality TV. Or at least in the second coming of Jersey Shore.

As you probably recall, Mike Sorrentino pled guilty to tax fraud back in January of 2018.

It's a hookup eleven years in the making!

Pauly D and Jenni Farley began flirting with one another in the very first episode of Jersey Shore way back in 2009.

Well, another season of Jersey Shore is upon us.

In many respects, Thursday night's season premiere offered more of what we've come to expect from our favorite gang of guidos.

A new season of Jersey Shore kicks off on MTV tonight, and while that's certainly a phrase we didn't expect to be writing in 2020, we have to credit the show for remaining fresh by not shying away from the many hardships its cast has faced in recent years.

It was the guidos love of partying that made Shore a sensation, but it's the honest and humble ways in which they've faced an array of challenges together that have kept them hanging around.