Jon Gosselin is finally ready to tell his side of the story.
We'll try to get through the rest of this article while keeping a straight face, but the former reality star -- who has worked on and off as a DJ for years -- appeared this week as a guest on The Dr. Oz Show, revealing to the host on stage that he has an album in the works.
It's been in the works for quite a long time, apparently.
“We’ve been working on this for about five years,” Gosselin explained on air. “It’s like a hip hop, R&B mix [version of my life story].”
Jon, of course, divorced Kate Gosselin well over a decade ago.
The former couple had previously starred on a reality show that centered around their marriage and, specifically, around their immediate family -- which included a pair of twins and then a set of sixtuplets.
Yes, that would be EIGHT children overall.
"Everybody wanted me to write a book, so I was like, 'Okay, I'll write a book,'" Jon added to Dr. Oz.
"But I'm not like a 'book person.' But what if I did ... I've been deejaying for so long... what if I lyric-sized the book?"
Sure. Why not, dude?
Except for perhaps the reason that absolutely no one will buy it.
Last month, Gosselin wrote on Instagram that he has wanted to release an album for awhile, yet never had the time to commit to the project.
“Launching a new music project with The International DJ Casper,” he said back then.
“I’ve wanted to do music for as long as I can remember but the level of commitment didn’t seem right before now.
"I am excited to announce Music Project EI8HT coming soon, end of 2021 or early 2022.”
Jon and Kate have continued to feud in the wake of their public and ugly break-up, most recently butting heads over Jon being accused of assault against his 16-year old son.
He denied this allegation, but Kate pounced all over it and told People Magazine last year that Jon shouldn't be allowed near his kids.
As it stands these days, Jon has temporary custody of daughter Hannah and son Collin, but has no relationship with his other children.
For Kate, it's the same situation -- just vice versa.
During his appearance on Dr. Oz’s awful program, Jon also addressed his breakup with long-term girlfriend Colleen Conrad, most notably the rumors that he split with Colleen because she got breast cancer.
And then abandoned her post-diagnosis.
“I’ll always love Colleen, and we’re friends. It wasn’t because of cancer,” Jon said of the split.
“We had trouble in the relationship for a long time, and I didn’t really want any stress [for her] during her treatment.
"So we thought it was best that we just stop our relationship and work on our friendship.”
Gilbert has said otherwise, hurling all kinds of shade in Jon's direction.
Last month, meanwhile, Colleen assured a fan on Instagram that she will still be there for Collin -- who has been going through behaviorial issues for awhile now -- even though she is no longer with Collin's dad.
“Collin knows how much I love him and will always be there for him despite Jon and I no longer being together.
"He is doing very well,” she wrote.