Believe it or not, it's been over three years since Farrah Abraham was fired from Teen Mom OG.
In a sense, she was a trailblazer -- the first of the Original Moms to be banished from the franchise.
Since then, one more cast member (Jenelle Evans) has been fired, and two others (Bristol Palin and Chelsea Houska) left of their own volition.
Bristol was loaded to begin with; Jenelle is broke as a joke, and it remains to be seen what will happen with Chelsea (but given her business acumen and general good sense, she'll probably be just fine).
But Farrah's situation is more mysterious than the others'.
She appears to be rather well-off, but she's also very good at lying and keeping up appearances.
There was a time when it looked as though Farrah had managed to beat the odds and make a success of herself in her post-OG life.
But those days are long gone.
Farrah launched several business ventures with the money she earned during her time on the show, but they all went bust rather quickly.
The side hustles began when Farrah launched a career as an adult film star while she was still on the show.
This was one of the factors what contributed to her getting fired, as MTV wasn't crazy about the idea of one of its stars hosting live sex shows on the internet.
Not a good look for the network, apparently.
The irony is that Farrah's p0rn career got her fired, but now that she's free to strip down on the internet as much as she likes, the offers seem to have dried up (no pun intended).
In the years that followed, she opened several brick-and-mortar businesses, including a frozen yogurt chain and a children's boutique -- nominally owned by her 11-year-old daughter Sophia -- all of which have since gone under
So how does she feed herself and her offspring these days?
Well, to the surprise of absolutely no one, it appears as though she's returned to sex work.
But now, Farrah has cut out the middle-man, and started taking a more ... um, direct approach to meeting her client's needs.
Yes, for the low, low price of just $5,000 you can purchase a "date night" with Farrah.
Her website doesn't make any explicit claims about sexual activity ... but we doubt people are paying that much for her sparkling conversation.
And folks, believe it or not ... people are paying.
How do we know?
Well, it seems that Farrah is willing to fly anywhere in the world to meet with her clients ... provided, of course, they're willing to pay her travel expenses.
That explains all the photos of Farrah and Sophia in exotic locales like Paris and Cairo.
Yes, it seems that Farrah takes her daughter along for her international sexcapades.
Hey, we guess it's better than leaving Sophia to fend for herself in LA ... oh, wait, she's done that, too.
Anyway, if you want Farrah to get involved with your sex life, but you don't have 5 grand in your hooker account these days, fear not ...
You can also consult with Farrah in an online sexual "Farrahpy" session in which she'll instruct you on how to get your mojo back.
Because if anyone should be dispensing advice about how to leave a healthy sex life, it's the mom who leaves her daughter behind in the suite while she runs off to meet up with her "date" for the evening.
What could possibly go wrong?