Chris Brown and Adele: Secretly Hooking Up?!

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It sounds like the premise for an extremely dark romantic comedy.

He's one of the most reviled public figures of his time, and she's the second-most beloved singer of the 21st century (Beyonce still exists, after all) -- but somehow they make it work!

Adele and Chris Brown

Yes, according to a new report from the Daily Mail, Chris Brown paid a late-night, clandestine visit to Adele's home in London over the weekend.

"It was all a bit cloak and dagger. He arrived in the middle of the night and didn’t leave until around 2 am," says one insider.

"He arrived in huge, blacked-out cars, with plenty of muscle surrounding him."

Chris Brown is a Dancer

It seems Chris was in the UK to visit his son Aeko, whom he shares with ex Ammika Harris.

In case you were wondering, Chris wore a mask while walking the streets of London, which is pretty amazing, when you think about it.

That means he spotted an opportunity to be an antagonistic douche, and he didn't take it! Progress!

Chris Brown Screams

Anyway, no one knows what really went on with these two behind closed doors, but given that it's 2020, we should probably assume the worst.

We're just gonna go ahead and brace ourselves for an engagement announcement and then be pleasantly surprised if it doesn't happen.

Adele finalized her divorce from Simon Konecki last year, and there have been no reports of her getting involved with anyone new.

Adele, Folks

Breezy, unfortunately, has been on the prowl.

He threatened to date Rihanna after she became single earlier this year.

And now, it seems he may have turned his attention toward Adele.

Adele With Chris Brown

Optimists point out that Brown and Adele have been friends for several years.

That's pretty bad on its own, but the upside is that Chris' visit might have been entirely platonic.

Sure, he slunk it late at night and left at 2 am, but if we were Chris Brown, we would travel under cover of darkness, too.

Chris Brown in Yellow

It's impossible to overstate how universally disliked this dude is.

We suppose it's possible he likes himself, but even that seems doubtful.

We like to imagine he covers all the mirrors in his house to avoid looking himself in the eye.

Adele in Bantu Knots and a Jamaican Flag Bikini

Anyway, Adele lost a lot of weight lately and we could see how she might be tempted to test out her new physique with a no-strings-attached shag.

Maybe she decided to do it with the worst person she knows to ensure that she wouldn't wind up catching feelings.

Frankly, we're just grasping at straws at this point because we can't imagine living in a world where Adele would debase herself by dating Chris Brown.

Chris Brown Points

You've done it again, 2020!

Just when we think you're finally out of fresh horrors, you come up with something totally out of left field like this.

We almost respect you for it!

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Chris Brown Biography

Chris Brown Tattoo
Chris Brown was born in 1989, which means he couldn't even buy beer when he first broke onto the scene. But man, this R&B singer... More »
Born
Birthplace
Tappahannock, Virginia
Full Name
Christopher Maurice Brown