By now, you've probably heard the news that has rocked this nation to its very foundations.
After a series of scandals, the future is suddenly uncertain for the most heavily spray-tanned reality TV relic of the 2000s.
No, we're not talking the Trump impeachment.
We're talking about something far more serious -- Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi's decision to retire from Jersey Shore.
Yes, it's the end of an era, as the woman who helped build a guido media empire a decade ago is officially hanging up her shot glass.
The move comes at a time when Snooki's popularity has been declining rapidly as a result of some major PR missteps.
First, Nicole was accused of victim-shaming Jen Harley when she expressed her belief that Ronni Magro's ex was showing off bruises he had given her as some sort of publicity stunt.
Shortly thereafter, Snooki, along with co-stars Jenni Farley and Deena Cortese made the baffling decision to bully Angelina Pivarnick at her own wedding.
Public opinion turned against Nicole in an instant, and while she's offered a number of reasons for her retirement -- more on that later -- she likely realized that stepping away from the show that made her famous was the best thing she could do in order to protect her brand.
So will Shore continue without its biggest star?
Not surprisingly, Angelina says it'll be back and better than ever.
And she knows exactly who should replace Snooki.
"I said this in the beginning — like, years ago — that Sammi should return, but she’s living her best life," Pivarnick recently told Us Weekly.
"She’s getting married soon — good for her. She looks so amazing."
So Angie apparently realizes that Sammi Giancola returning to Jersey Shore is unlikely -- especially since Ronnie is the reason she opted out in the first place and dude is more unstable than ever.
Still, she wishes Sammi Sweetheart all the best on her future endeavors.
“I don’t know who she’s inviting to the wedding,” Pivarnick said of Giancola's upcoming nuptials.
“I don’t know if it’s right now. I don’t know if it’s this year. I think it’s next year, so I don’t know.”
In conclusion, Angelina opined that Shore producers shouldn't mess with the proven formula by attempting to add a newcomer:
“It’s only us,” she said. “We’re the only people that can deal with it.”
Do we detect a hint of shade there?
Is Angelina suggesting that Snooki can't "deal with" the Shore life anymore?
If so, she may be on to something.
In her retirement announcement, Snooks confessed that she's struggling with the show's hectic filming schedule for a number of reasons.
She stated that she doesn't like leaving her kids for weeks at a time, and she has a hard time partying several days in a row.
(The Shore cast shoots three days straight without a break, which, for Nicole, usually means three days of heavy drinking.)
"You know, when I leave my kids and I film the show, like, I want to have a good time," she said on her podcast.
"And I’m putting myself out there, and I just wanna come off as a good person," Snooki added.
"And lately, on the show, it’s just been very drama. … I don’t like the person I’m portrayed as."
Well, there's that ...
But there's also the fact that Snooki was ruining the public image that she spent a decade creating.
Perhaps the Donald should take a cue from his fellow Tri-State icon and get out while the gettin' is good.