Tom Cruise: I'm Finally Ready to See Suri!

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It's been a very, very long time since Tom Cruise last paid a visit to his youngest child.

In fact, some sources claim Tom hasn't seen Suri in over five years.

Tom Cruise for The Mummy

That would be shockingly douchey behavior under any circumstances, but it's especially appalling when you consider the following facts:

1. Suri is 13, which means if the rumors are true, her father has been absent for more than a third of her life.

2. Tom is a multimillionaire and the poster boy for an international space cult, which means at a moment's notice, he can go anywhere in the world on a private jet staffed entirely by Xenu slaves.

Really no excuse for not swinging by your ex's condo in New York under those circumstances.

Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise

So yeah, Tom has been a very sh-tty dad for a very long time.

But according to a new report from In Touch, the actor and interplanetary savior is ready to launch a half-assed effort to make things right.

“He saw a photo of Suri looking all grown up, and it changed everything,” a source tells the tabloid.

Yes, it seems the decision to reconnect was sparked by Tom's recent realization that earthling children grow at an alarming rate.

Tom Cruise in Germany

That, and Katie Holmes broke up with Jamie Foxx, so Tom can pay a visit without fear that he won't be the most famous person in the room.

“With Katie single again, and Suri not having a father figure in her life, it’s the perfect opportunity to reach out,” the insider claims.

The source goes on to confirm what everybody already knew -- that Tom abandoned Suri because his martian overlords instructed him to:

“Tom has sacrificed the most important things in his life for Scientology,” says the insider.

“If he ever were to escape Scientology, it would be because of his daughter.”

Tom Cruise in Berlin

Sadly, Tom has already demonstrated that he loves Scientology more than he loves Suri, and we doubt some teen who's a virtual stranger at this point holds that much sway over the dude.

Fortunately, Katie is said to be an ideal mom.

She's back on the market these days, and the source says her highest priority is finding a partner who can "build a strong relationship with her daughter down the line."

“If they don’t tick that box, Katie’s just not interested,” says the insider.

She might want to add "not prone to brainwashing by celebrity space religions" to her checklist, just to be safe.

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Tom Cruise Biography

Suri's First Crap
What's not to love about Tom Cruise? Well, potentially a lot of things. But all in all, he's a quality actor with dozens of good films on... More »
Syracuse, New York
Full Name
Thomas Cruise Mapother IV

Tom Cruise Quotes

I was feeling pressed in the interview with Matt Lauer. For me, my issue was really about child drugging. It's not like it is today, like people are really kind of openly talking about this.

Tom Cruise [on Matt Lauer interview]

I can't even articulate it, to be honest. That feeling, that connection. Just who she is and what she means to me.

Tom Cruise [on feelings for Katie Holmes]