Meghan McCain has opened way up about something extremely personal and extremely painful.
The View panelist recently lost her baby due to a miscarriage.
Via an op-ed in The New York Times this past Friday, the daughter of late Senator John McCain wrote very simply:
"To the end of my days I will remember this child."
She continued in candid detail:
"My miscarriage was a horrendous experience and I would not wish it upon anyone. I loved my baby, and I always will."
The talk show host, who some believe may leave The View in the very near future, said this pregnancy came as a joyous "surprise," explaining that the baby girl she was expecting would have been her and husband Ben Domenech's first child.
However, she said she suffered a miscarriage the same day she shot a cover story for New York Times Magazine about the aforementioned morning program.
"I look back at those pictures now, and I see a woman hiding her shock and sorrow," she wrote of this shoot, adding:
"I am posed for the camera, looking stern and strong, representing my fellow conservative women across the country. But inside, I am dying. Inside, my baby is dying."
Just so awful.
We truly cannot imagine going through such an experience.
McCain went on to say she isn't looking for sympathy or a lot of special attention or anything.
Instead, she went public with this terrible news because she wants to destigmatize the "distressingly common" occurrence.
(Many studies say that one in four women have suffered a miscarriage.)
"We deserve the opportunity to speak openly of them, to share what they were and to mourn," McCain wrote in her piece.
As for why it happened in this case? No one can ever say for sure; it can often just be chalked up to bad luck.
"I blamed myself," McCain sadly says.
"Perhaps it was wrong of me to choose to be a professional woman, working in a high-pressure, high-visibility, high-stress field, still bearing the burden of the recent loss of my father and facing on top of that the arrows that come with public life."
"I blamed my age, I blamed my personality," she continued.
"I blamed everything and anything a person could think of, and what followed was a deep opening of shame. This, I told myself, is the reason my body is a rock-strewn wasteland in which no child may live."
And Meghan sort of takes comfort in the symmetry between that loss and the loss of her daughter.
"When my father passed, I took refuge in the hope that someday we would be united in the hereafter," she said.
"I still imagine that moment, even as I trust that a loving God will see it happen. Now I imagine it a bit differently. There is my father — and he is holding his granddaughter in his hands."
How very powerful.
We send our thoughts and condolences to Meghan McCain.