Keeping Up with the Kardashians finally addressed the 6'10" elephant in the room on part one of its season finale last night.
After weeks of hype, the penultimate episode focused entirely on the Tristan Thompson cheating scandal.
The second Tristan Thompson cheating scandal, that is; not the one in which he slept around while his girlfriend was pregnant... but the one during which he made out with his girlfriend's close pal.
As summarized above, the episode was raw and emotional and intense and also revealing -- but was it also chock full of BS?
Because here's the thing:
Yes, Tristan made out with Jordyn Woods several months ago.
The latter has admitted it, the former has not denied it and Khloe Kardashian has ended the relationship over her baby daddy as a result of it.
So there's nothing to debate when it comes to how much Thompson sucks as a boyfriend. The guy totally and completely sucks as a boyfriend.
This episode just piled everything on so darn thick that we have a bunch of questions over what we actually heard and learned.
Khloe opened the installment by saying she was crazy sick, suffering through one migraine after another while actually throwing up blood.
“Literally my whole head feels bruised because it’s been pounding for so long and it’s terrifying,” she told viewers, adding on air:
“I’m supposed to go to Cleveland tomorrow to see Tristan, but the way I’m feeling right now, I don’t know if I can be on a flight like that. I’ve been throwing up blood. It’s so intense. I’m blind in my left eye."
We're sorry, but: WHAT?!?
Khloe is coughing up clood and has gone blind in one eye and is just sort of casually relaying this information to the camera?
And we never once heard anything about this condition several months ago, back when this episode was allegedly filmed?
Khloe alleged on the episode that she took a pregnancy test (it was negative) and that a doctor could not diagnose whatever the heck was supposedly going on with her.
Elsewhere, Khloe made an allegation that created headlines across the Internet hours later:
She told Scott Disick that Tristan actually threatened to commit suicide when confessing his sins to her over the phone.
“He’s like, ‘I can’t stop thinking about you and what mess I have caused,’" she told Disick.
“He’s doing this to get a reaction out of me. Oh, so I’m just allowed to say ‘I’m going to kill myself’ at any time? That’s crazy.”
Again, we ask: WHAT?!?
Nearly every insider close to Thompson after this scandal broke said he was mostly doing just fine.
Moreover, sources now tell Radar Online that Tristan never, ever said such a thing and the fact that Khloe is spreading such a lie has really caused him distress.
“He is pissed off because a ton of people, including his family members and NBA execs, are reaching out to him very worried," Radar writes, quoting someone who knows Tristan well and adding:
"He says he told Khloe he didn’t want to live without her, but that didn’t mean he wanted to kill himself."
On the finale, we were told that Khloe asked someone to go check on Thompson after he supposedly uttered the suicidal thought, prompting Disick to deliver this well-scripted speech:
“The fact that Khloe is sitting here heartbroken but still worrying about Tristan’s feelings and the possibilities of him being upset or possibly hurting himself...
"I mean, it just goes to show that Khloe is an unbelievable person that loves so hard and so much.
"Somehow she just keeps getting the short end of the stick, and it’s unfair and it’s hurtful and it’s really hard for me to sit and watch.”
We never once heard from Tristan or Jordyn on the episode.
We never once saw a text message from either party or listened in one their end of a phone call.
We were simply told a bunch of stuff by Khloe and her loved ones and expected to believe it.
But what if producers just made it all up?
What if Tristan and Khloe were actually on the outs at the time of the spit-swapping and what if he really did only peck Woods a little bit and there wasn't very much to this whole scandal...
... so the family had to REALLY oversell it, giving Khloe some horrible, mysterious disease right when it allegedly happened and then also making her look like a saint by putting her suicidal boyfriend ahead of her own needs, even in the wake of his dastardly actions?
What if, you guys?
We know it's a crazy thought, that Keeping Up with the Kardashians would be a scripted drama that painted its cast members as victims and made sure they were always the heroes of their own stories.
If you agree that perhaps Khloe didn't actually go blind in one eye and perhaps Thompson never contemplated suicide, then it must be asked:
What is the real scandal here?
Was it what Tristan did with Jordyn?
Or what the Kardashians did in response?