Looks like it's a match made in the sacred volcano where the evil Lord Xenu deposited the souls of our ancestors!
Beloved actors and fellow space loonies Tom Cruise and Elisabeth Moss are rumored to be dating!
Cruise, of course, is the A-list star of Top Gun who allegedly hasn't seen his daughter in over five years after she was labeled a "suppressive person" by the creepy thugs who dictate his religious beliefs.
Moss, meanwhile, apparently sees no irony in starring on a TV show about a dystopian future controlled by oppressive cult leaders while at the same time pledging loyalty to a religious organization that's repeatedly been accused of human trafficking and benefiting from slave labor.
Yes, both Cruise and Moss are devoted Scientologists, which means we should probably watch footage of their public appearances together, as she may be trying to send us rescue instructions by blinking her eyes in Morse code.
“Elisabeth has known Tom forever because they both belong to the Church of Scientology," a source close to the alleged couple tells OK! magazine.
"But early last year, she told a friend a shocking secret: She’s always had a crush on him. She had no idea word would get back to Tom and it would bring them together.”
The source goes on to claim that marriage and children are definitely in the cards for Moss and Cruise:
“That’s Tom for you,” says the insider.
“He doesn’t sit on things – he’s a go-getter. When he makes a decision, he’s on it. And he’s decided he’s in love with Elisabeth.”
Oh, that irrepressible go-getter Tom.
Whether it's the lead role in a blockbuster film, or attaining galactic oneness by cleansing his soul of alien contaminants, nothing stands between the actor and what he wants.
And these what he wants is Elisabeth Moss!
Moss has been unlucky in love in the past, having gotten divorced from Fred Armisen back in 2011.
At one point, she was rumored to be dating Mad Men co-star Jon Hamm, but that relationship seems to have fizzled.
While we're sure both experiences were discouraging, we'd like to take this opportunity to publicly encourage Moss to go back to either of those men, or -- for that matter -- literally any man on the planet who is not named Tom Cruise and does not belong to the Church of Scientology.
With that said, best of luck, you crazy kids!