Jana Kramer: I'm Hiring an Ugly Nanny So My Husband Won't Bone Her

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Jana Kramer has been upfront about husband Mike Caussin's sex addiction relapses, but she aims to not let them happen again.

She's currently in the market for a nanny, but one thing keeps her from considering a lot of potential candidates.

Apparently, a lot of nannies are just too darn sexy to hire. She wants ugly applicants only, please.

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On Monday, Jana took to her Whine Down With Jana Kramer podcast with some somewhat personal news.

Her nanny, who had been a caretaker for her 3-year-old daughter, Jolie, and 4-month-old son, Jace, had quit.

Jana revealed that her quest for a new nanny has been difficult ... because so many potential caregivers are just too darn sexy.

"I just don't understand some of these girls that post pictures on Care.com," Jana laments.

She explains that she's "because I'm like, don't you know the female is hiring?"

Mike Caussin and Jana Kramer in 2015

"The wives are hiring," Jana states.

We're not sure what sorts of statistics she's using to support that claim.

We would hope that any and all parents of a child would take an interest in such an important decision.

Jana explains: "I don't see a guy going on Care.com and going through the nannies."

"Maybe they do," she admits. "And that's awesome, but I personally am doing it."

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"I'm laughing," Jana tells her listeners. "Because this one photo was like, 'Hi, I'm 22 years old and I have perky boobs.'"

Fun fact: perky boobs are usually a physical trait, not a choice that can be toggled on and off at will.

"Like," she instructs. "Don't post the perky boob photo."

"You're not gonna be hired," she insists. "I'm not hiring you."

In some jobs, refusing to hire a woman because she's attractive would be considered grounds for a lawsuit.

Jana Kramer and Family

Outside of certain acting or modeling roles, going purely on looks is generally considered to be a gross selection process.

"And I'm not saying post an ugly photo," Jana insists. "I'm just saying...you should dress for the part."

We somehow suspect that these prospective nannies are dressed like people. Perhaps Jana would prefer that they wear habits.

"So, to the girls out there that are on Care.com," Jana advises. "I wouldn't put your Instagram [picture]."

Jana says that they shouldn't post flattering images "because I'm like, no, I'm not gonna hire you, sorry."

Jana Kramer on Red Carpet

"Not that I don't trust my husband, not that I don't trust, you know, whatever..." Jana tries to assure listeners.

She expresses: "I just think it's not smart." 

"I mean, you look at some of these nannies," Jana says. "And I'm like, 'Well, you kinda asked for it, she's kinda hot.' You know what I mean?"

We most certainly do not. Women, it turns out, are people, not irresistible sirens luring husbands to cheat and get divorced.

"You're in close quarters," Jana states, as if that explains everything.

Mike Caussin and Jana Kramer Smile

Jana then refers to a couple of famous cheaters to try to justify her stance.

"Not saying that Ben Affleck was wrong, but you look at the nanny and I'm like, 'Well, she's really cute,'" Jana says. "You're playing with fire."

"I feel like some of these girls," she continues. "Maybe some of those nannies like Ben Affleck's and the Gavin Rossdale's nannies."

Reports say, of course, that both Ben and Gavin cheated on their respective famous wives with their respective nannies.

Jana concludes that perhaps "they put off a sexier vibe."

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First and foremost, Jana's husband, Mike Caussin, is a sex addict.

Whether you believe that the label sex addict should be added to the DSM or is merely an excuse used by horny people, that must be on her mind.

But that's not an excuse.

When a man decides to cheat, that's a decision that he made.

A nanny's sexiness or "close quarters" status doesn't suddenly rob the men of agency.

Jana Kramer Image

Also, Jana seems to be suggesting -- and maybe we're reading too deeply into this -- that these nannies are hoping to be hired by rich DILFs.

Generally speaking, almost no women go into employment hoping to be hit on by their boss. It's very rarely sexy.

Nannies want to get paid for looking after kids.

They choose flattering pictures of themselves because, and this is true, attractive people have an easier time being hired for most jobs.

Jana's weird internalized misogyny aside, we just feel sorry for whichever nanny Jana does hire.

Imagine listening to this podcast about a position you filled and realizing that you were chosen because your contact pic looked fugly.

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