You might think that royal life is all high tea and beheadings, but it turns out there's real work involved, and the penalty for choosing not to participate is a stern finger-wagging from the peasants.
Okay, so it's not as severe as the consequences you would face if you decided to stop showing up for work, but the idea of being nationally shamed for your laziness would probably be enough to get your arse off the throne from time to time.
Obviously, we kid the Royals only because our forefathers fought a very fancy war with drums and ponytails to secure that right for us.
Anyway, we're sure quite a few of them take real pride in their community outreach work and are motivated by more than just the fear of a withering glare from the Queen during the traditional St. Reginald Day feast of blood pudding and silence.
Meghan Markle, for example, has reportedly thrown herself into her work in a way that few royals in recent history could match.
Her devotion to bettering the lives of the most marginalized Brits has earned comparisons to Prince Charles' wife, Camilla Parker Bowles
Camilla is widely admired for her willingness to take on less photo-op-friendly causes, such as mental health, addiction treatment, and racial justice.
Now, it seems Meg is following in her mum-in-law's footsteps by reaching out to at-risk communities that many might prefer to ignore.
That's Meghan writing inspirational slogans on bananas at One25 -- an organization that reaches out to sex workers in the Bristol region.
"I saw this project this woman had started somewhere in the States on a school lunch program," Meghan told reporters.
"On each of the bananas she wrote an affirmation, to make the kids feel really, like, empowered. It was the most incredible idea – this small gesture."
In the video above, Meg can be heard to remark:
"I am in charge of the banana messaging." She proceeded to adorn each nanner with a special message such as:
"You are special," "You are strong," "You are brave" and "You are loved."
Each one was reportedly adorned with "a tiny heart."
“That really touched me — and I’m not even a royalist,” One25 CEO Anna Smith told reporters.
“She had clearly listened and heard what we are all about — that we don’t judge, we simply offer the service and unconditional love. She totally got it.”
You're not alone, Anna. Our cynical American hearts are touched AF over here.
The official statement from Kensington Palace describes the organization thusly:
"One25 in Bristol - a charity that helps women break free from street sex work, addiction and other life-controlling issues, through practical and emotional support."
So while the situation is rife with potential for cheap jokes about bananas and prostitutes, Meghan's work with One25 is actually quite admirable.
After all, charity work isn't all homeless puppies and bake sales.
Hopefully, Meghan's example will serve to remind millions that addicts and sex workers are human beings, too.
And hopefully, the British tabloid press will be inspired to focus more on Meghan's charity work and less on her feud with Kate Middleton.
We kid, of course -- that will never happen.