As you likely know by now, Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino is serving hard time after pleading guilty to a charge of tax evasion.
However, according to an unfortunate new report, it appears as if the Jersey Shore star won't be permitted to actually get hard during this stint behind bars.
At least not in a useful manner.
Earlier this month, Sorrentino reported to jail to start his eight-month sentence,
He had pled guilty to the aforementioned tax fraud charge back in January of last year because he failed to pay taxes on more than $9 million in earnings.
Upon reporting to the clink, Sorrentino reminded fans of why they continually adore him, sharing a photo on Instagram of a shirt with his face on it and writing as a farewell:
"see you guys on the other side #FreeSitch."
All in all, the veteran MTV personality handled his impending incarceration very well.
But that may have been because he presumed he'd still get some pootang while inside.
HOWEVER, Radar Online now claims this will not be the case.
Yes, The Situation is now a married man, having exchanged vows with Lauren Pesche last fall.
And, yes, some inmates are permitted to have what the prison system dubs "conjugal visits" with their partners, during which the spouses can engage in sexual intercourse on visiting days.
But Sorrentino will not be privy to this luxury, an insider alleges.
“Mike will get to see his wife weekly. But they will get no alone time during their visits. He will be allowed a short kiss at the start and end of every visit,” Federal prison consultant Dan Wise tells Radar.
Wise then got really explicit and specific in detailing to the website how prisoners handle such a sex-free existence while behind bars.
What do they do when they can't get behind their wives and just pound away?
“Often times, prisoners will have to play out their sex with their wives by using love letters and even phone calls," he explains. "Some inmates get very creative in this, as it is the only option they have."
In that case, Sorrentino can perhaps work on his creative writing while he rehabilitates himself.
The Situation became The Husband to Pesche back on November 1.
They both seemed pretty psyched about their nuptials shortly after the ceremony transpired.
“We are so incredibly excited to begin our journey as husband and wife!” Sorrentino and Pesce told Us Weekly after their wedding, adding:
“We are each other’s best friend and together we can handle anything.”
Even several months without making any sort of love to each other?
For the sake of their union, let's hope so.