Recent episodes of Vanderpump Rules have asked viewers to choose a side on a number of divisive issues:
Is Jax really ready to get married, or is he simply seeking comfort in the aftermath of his father's death?
Are the rest of the SUR girls guilty of transphobic behavior, or is Billie Lee simply overreacting to an accidental snub?
And now, is Ariana right to be royally pissed at Tom Sandoval for spilling the tea about her fling with Lala?
Usually, Tom and Ariana's relationship is something of a drama desert, with the two of them rehashing the same argument about her never wanting to get season after season.
But last night, the Sandoval and Madix offered up one of the climactic high points of the show's (admittedly rather snail-paced) seventh season.
The episode captured Sandoval's birthday, which naturally featured much foppish clothing, and many objects of oral fixation (cigars, blow job shots.)
The celebration was going according to plan, until Sandoval decided to fill his friends in on a past dalliance between Ariana and Lala Kent.
“I don’t know if I ever told you this. Ariana and Lala had been out all day drinking, and they’re wasted," a nattily-dressed Sandoval told his rapt audience.
"They’re in my car, and Lala goes, ‘Sorry, Sando, I’m just in love with your girl right now. Ariana, will you come in the back seat? I just want to eat your p—,'” he added.
“Ariana climbs in the back and Lala just starts going to f—ing town, dude.”
Needless to say, the tale was quite received by Sandoval's randy colleagues.
But the birthday boy's victory soon turned to defeat, when Jax once again screwed him over, just as he's done every single time he's been given the opportunity to do so.
(Seriously, why the hell are any of them still friends with his dude?)
“No, I did not have sex with Ariana in the back,” Lala fulminated when Jax recounted Tom's tale.
“What the f— is he talking about?”
In her confessional segment, however, Lala admitted that Sandoval had spoken the truth:
“Did this happen with Ariana and myself? Yes. Am I about to blow Ariana’s spot up with Jax and [Brittany Cartwright] right now? Hell no,” Lala said.
Understandably, Ariana was not thrilled when she heard about this situation third hand.
“Are you f—ing kidding me? I literally just got a phone call from Lala telling me the f—ing story you told on your birthday to try to sound cool in front of a bunch of guys,” Ariana shouted at Tom.
She later clarified her position for the cameras:
"I’m not embarrassed or ashamed of what happened between Lala and I, but I do feel like Tom betrayed my trust by telling this story to his guy friends," Ariana said.
"My sexuality is not something that is meant to sound cool to a bunch of dudes.”
On the "Pumped Up" edition of Vanderpump that aired just after last night's new episode (It's a rerun of the show, with "Pop-Up Video" style factoid graphics. Yes, we are old and have no lives.), it was revealed that Tom's revelation nearly brought about the end of Lala's relationship with Randall Emmett.
Needless to say, Sandoval was very much in the doghouse last night.
Although as many have pointed out on social media, Ariana is the one who sought (and apparently found) sexual gratification outside of the relationship, seemingly without securing Tom's consent first.
On Twitter, it was widely rumored that Tom and Ariana had broken up over his loose lips.
But it appears as though the couple is still going strong.
Although if Tom is still thinking about popping the question, now is probably not the time.