Danielle Maltby is trying to move on.
Really, she is.
But The Bachelor alum was burned so very badly by ex-boyfriend Paulie Calafiore and his wandering penis that sometimes she doesn't know if she'll ever kiss again.
“I am really struggling today… I don’t want to get out of bed even though I have tons of sh-t to get done before the Holidays,” Maltby wrote on Wednesday as a caption to a black-and-white image of herself.
She added, likely through years:
“Control the controllable they say. Well, I’ve tried that. I don’t like to show all my vulnerability, because it gets taken advantage of along with my love and kindness.
"Most days I feel myself hardening since my relationship ended. I honestly believed I had found my person. He was everything to me.
"Now the thought of dating leaves me terrified to let anyone in. It’s not like I have anything to give out anyway.
"I’m trying to wrap any love I still have in me around myself.”
Back in June, Calafiore (Big Brother, Ex on the Beach) confessed that he had been sticking it to Cara Maria Sorbello (The Challenge) while in a relationship with Maltby.
"I am not proud of my actions these past weeks," he told E! News at the time, ashamedly adding:
"I know they speak louder than these words. I have destroyed the one person that has believed in and brought out the best in me. I have many things I need to work on and repair internally.
"I want to be better. I know I haven't earned it, but I ask for patience and privacy while I work on repairing myself."
Danielle works as a neonatal nurse and competed on Nick Viall’s season of The Bachelor in 2017, prior to briefly appearing on Bachelor in Paradise.
Her fiance, Nick Haag, actually died from an apparent drug overdose in 2011.
Therefore, "I’ve been in this place before," she continued on Instagram, but "this is different. You’re still here...
"I’ve been slowly draining since the lies started and my ex cheated on me. The people that know and love me, see how much this has taken from me, especially physically.
"The “revenge bod” I’ve tried to joke about isn’t some new diet trend, it’s because I’ve been physically sick from the anxiety, stress, grief and lies inflicted on me for months."
Yikes. We feel awful for Maltby.
Danielle went on to say that Paul - who is still in a relationship with Cara - has continued to contact her and wants to be unblocked because "we are important in each other's lives," in his words.
"I made a lot of excuses trying to rationalize his behavior and I wasn't able to come to terms with the fact he was able to hurt me like this," she says.
"I believe I was shown the person he wants to be but something is holding him back from it."
How can he possibly still want Maltby in his life?
Danielle has a theory:
"Somewhere in his mind, he has made himself believe that it's ok to continue to tell me he needs me, misses me, still loves me and wants to fix everything.
"Actions speak louder than words.
"Today, I can't explain today. I've just had enough...
"Some days are ok, some are really good and I had a great night last night, but today, my place is a mess and I can't get out of bed and honestly, I just hurt. I'm working on it though."
We've all been there, right?
At least in some extent, in some way.
Maltby concluded her post with a yellow heart emoji.
All we can say in response is to hang in there because this, like all heartbreak, really will pass. Even if it doesn't feel that way right now.
And also: You can do so much better than Calafiore. That guy sucks.