Last night, the Boston Red Sox triumphed over the New York Yankees in the American League Divisional Series.
All over the New England region, inebriated fans engaged in all manner of impulsive behavior, giddy with the possibility of their flagship city taking home its 47 bajillionth championship in the past 20 years.
But Ben Affleck can't drink anymore so he just dumped his girlfriend.
We kid Beantown Benny, of course.
We give the guy all the credit in the world for committing himself to the hard work of getting sober.
That said, we're about to gently slow roast him like a side of pork because that's how we show love around here.
As you've probably heard by now, Affleck checked into rehab for the third time last month.
Though he didn't always seem to take his treatment all that seriously -- Ben was in the habit of leaving the facility to work out at his home gym every day -- he stuck it out and even stayed on longer than initially intended.
We don't know what kind of program Ben is working, but it seems he just reached the "drop all the excess baggage you picked up during your last bender" step.
According to People magazine, Affleck has broken up with Shauna Sexton, the 22-year-old Playboy model he briefly dated before checking into a treatment center last month,
“There was nothing to split from as it has been casual,” a source tells the magazine.
"He enjoyed being with her but is working on himself, and being together with her at this time is not something that works,” the insider adds.
“He will date in the future, but for now his focus is on his sobriety, family and his next project.”
All joking aside, it sounds like focusing on his family and sobriety is the best thing Ben could be doing at the moment.
Upon leaving treatment, Affleck issued a heartfelt statement filled gratitude and optimism:
“The support I have received from my family, colleagues and fans means more to me than I can say. It’s given me the strength and support to speak about my illness with others,” the Oscar winner wrote.
“Battling any addiction is a lifelong and difficult struggle," Affleck continued.
"Because of that, one is never really in or out of treatment. It is full-time commitment. I am fighting for myself and my family.”
We wish Ben and his family all the best.
We can't say the same about the Red Sox, who will hopefully go down in humiliating fashion in the ALCS.