Attention, men around the world!
You may want to scoot a little closer to the computer screen for this announcement.
Are you ready for it? Are you certain? Okay, here it goes...
You may be able to marry Angelina Jolie!
We can't make any guarantees, of course. That would be ridiculous.
But an insider tells Heat Magazine that Jolie is sick and tired of being single and she's prepared to do something about it.
"Right now, Ange’s looking at potential suitors who have been suggested by her business team,” a source tells this random publication, adding;
“She’s also putting the word out in high-powered circles.”
Okay, fair enough. Perhaps we ought to amend our opening sentence to read:
Attention, rich and famous men around the world... you may be able to marry Angelina Jolie!
As you very likely know by now, Jolie and Brad Pitt filed for divorce in September of 2016.
To this day, it seems hard to believe, despite all the bad blood that apparently exists between the stars and all the mean things that have been said back and forth between them in the press.
In mid-August, Jolie was ordered to green light more time for Pitt and the ex-couple's six children, leaving her bitter and allegedly angry over the whole situation.
Is that why Jolie is now looking to move on once and for all?
We don't know.
However, Heat Magazine write the following:
“Flying solo was beneficial for a while.
"Ange needed to heal after the breakup with Brad - but it’s been long enough and her self-imposed exile from men is over."
“She knows a lot of people in the industry who are as good at matchmaking as they are at producing films.”
It's been rumored, meanwhile, that Pitt has found romance again, either with some woman named Neri Oxman or with Jennifer Aniston.
And this source claims that “seeing Brad move on has put a fire under [Angelina]" to go out and do the same.
If she really is on the market, it's hard to think of any woman who would be more sought after than Angelina Jolie.
What sort of man is she hoping to find?
“She hasn’t felt a real spark in ages and she misses it,” the source concludes. “She’d like someone who can match her intellect, but most importantly, she needs a physical connection.”
Ah, okay. So there it is.
Jolie really just wants a good f-ck.
Which men out there think they can give it to her?