We don't mean to go all President Trump on readers, but Tuesday night's intense episode of Bachelor in Paradise can be summed up by two words.
They are maybe the Commander-in-Chief's two favorite words in the English language, too:
Let's start with Shushanna, shall we?
The contestant, pictured above, found herself still hung up on Kamil this week, as Jordan wanted to explore his relationship with the Russian beauty, Shushanna basically told him to go away.
She said to focus his romantic efforts on Cassandra instead.
From there, Shushanna pulled Kamil aside again to see if he was secretly into her. Maybe? Just a little bit? In secret perhaps?
However, he insisted he didn’t feel a connection between them -- but Shushanna wouldn't accept this as an answer. She maintained hope of a future with Kamil.
This is about where things got REALLY weird...
Annaliese confronted Shushanna because Kamil told her he believe she might be using “Russian witchery” on them by staring at him.
We'll just let that sentence and that allegation sit there for a moment. We'll let it sink right on in.
Annaliese explained to her rival that Kamil was off limits and asked her about putting spells on them. Shushanna denied such talk (just like a witch would, right?!?) and became visibly upset.
Later on, Diggy asked Shushanna on a date, which she declined, prompting him to settle for Olivia.
Shushanna started to think that she should have given Jordan a chance, clearly confused by what her hearts wants and what her head thinks it's best... and even cried a bit after Jordan told her he wanted to pursue his connection with Cassandra.
This poor alleged witch. We feel a little sorry for her.
Jade and Tanner Tolbert and Carly Waddell and Evan Bass had no such problems this week.
Instead, they spoke to each of the couples to see which was most deserving of a date and, in the end, selected Joe and Kendall.
But there was a catch:
The two had to babysit their daughters (Emmy and Bella) while the foursome went on a luxurious outing that included spa treatments, jet skis and a pool.
Joe and Kendall struggled with this assignemtn at first, but they ultimately enjoyed the glimpse into their own future as parents.
When the Paradise alums came back, they sent Joe and Kendall on an actual date as a reward for their assistance.
Off on their own, away from the children, the stars talked about commitment while Joe noted that he could see his romance with Kendall leading toward marriage.
There was also this:
Cassandra questioned Eric about about their relationship, wanting an answer on where it stands.
Following that whole Angela situation, he initially didn't think he was ready for anything serious, referring to himself as "emotionally drained” and feeling bad that he could only give only a portion of himself to Cassandra.
So he decided to leave.
Eric also lamented Angela - who he called “my girl” - on his way out, saying he wanted them to work so strongly and telling his friends that half of him departed with her.
Finally, to wrap this recap up, Chris was psyched to go on a date with Krystal because then he could tell her he loved her without any distractions.
However, a raccoon crashed their dinner just as Chris was about to open up about his feelings.
After the animal made his exit, though, L Bombs were dropped and the installment concluded on a happy, non-witchy note.