Jennifer Aniston to Neri Oxman: Stay Away From Brad Pitt!

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While the rumors have yet to be confirmed, lots of folks are already in love with the idea that Brad Pitt is dating Neri Oxman, a world-renowned architect and MIT professor, who reportedly caught the actor's eye last year.

But not everyone is so thrilled with the notion of Brad ditching Hollywood to hook up with a European academic.

Brad Pitt Neri Oxman

For starters, there are reports that Angelina Jolie is pissed about Brad and Neri, as she believes (probably quite rightly) that Pitt's new boo has her thoroughly outclassed in terms of intellectual cred and political awareness.

Then there's Jennifer Aniston who - according to a hilarious report from an Australian tabloid - is angry about the situation for much more Jerry Springer-esque reasons.

Put simply, Jen feels that Neri is out to steal her man!

Now, if you're not familiar with Aussie tabloids, we should take a moment to point out that they generally make The National Enquirer look like The New York Times.

Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston... Together!

These publications pretty much just make up whatever the hell they want, and their readers are presumably too busy fending off dingo-sized spiders and to notice that it's all pure BS.

In that spirit, the magazine New Idea is claiming that Jen is ready to throw down with Neri if she doesn't keep her brainy ass away from Brad.

“Jen is going to fight for Brad, plain and simple," a "source" tells the tabloid.

“She’s determined that nothing will get in the way of her happiness,” the fictitious insider continues.

New Idea's imaginary tipster, even goes so far as to claim that Jen had a stern sit-down with Neri, during which she basically went full-Godfather.

Neri Oxman

“Last weekend [Aniston] went and saw Neri, and had a face-to-face with her,” claims the source.

“Jen was firm with Neri and told her to stay away from Brad and not come between them.”

Don't get us wrong, we love the idea of a Jen in full badass mode, crushing a tumbler of Scotch with her bare hands to demonstrate what she'd do to Neri's skull.

Unfortunately, like the long-rumored Aniston-Pitt reunion, it seems this one is simply too good to be true.

Fortunately, the folks Down Under are happy to provide us with these amusing fan fictions.

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Jennifer Aniston Quotes

I actually feel I've been unbelievably lucky in love. I don't feel like I'm supposed to be any further along or somewhere that I'm not. I'm right where I'm supposed to be.

Jennifer Aniston

You just have to love your life. I have my health, I have my friends, I have my loved ones. I'm extremely lucky.

Jennifer Aniston