We have good news, Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani fans:
Contrary to recent reports such as THIS ONE, this beloved couple has not broken up!
We also have incredible news...
... the beloved couple is apparently engaged and expecting their first child together!
For real! Maybe!
It was just a few weeks ago that In Touch Weekly alleged Stefani was "heartbroken" after Shelton broke up with her out of nowhere.
But while this tabloid alleges that Blake was sick of Gwen's "neediness, drama and jealousy," another tabloid now claims just the opposite.
Not only isn't Shelton sick of these things, writes the latest issue of Life & Style, he has vowed to embrace them and love every aspect of Stefani until death does them part.
We're talking marriage, people!
Or, to be more specific, anonymous sources that supposedly spoke to this magazine are talking marriage.
As you can see above, this publication alleges that these singers took part in a "quickie beach ceremony in Mexico," even adding that they wed in such a manner "after they [got] happy news."
In case the implication wasn't clear enough, it added as a headline:
WEDDING & A BABY!
Flip open this issue, however, and the cover story reads that Gwen and Blake are not actually husband and wife. Not yet, at least.
"Pals believe the pair are finally getting married because she’s pregnant more than two years after trying for a baby," says an insider who is absolutely real.
This non-made-up individual adds:
"[Gwen’s] dream is to marry Blake and have his child. And announcing her pregnancy to friends and family on the big day would make the wedding all the more special."
That's a new twist on a shotgun wedding, huh?
Look! We got married because I'm pregnant! Isn't that special?!?
Talk of Stefani being pregnant has run rampant for several months, almost since these two artists first started exchanging bodily fluids.
It's sort of unclear why.
The former No Doubt leader already has three kids. She's also 48 years old.
Moreover, there was chatter back when Shelton split from Miranda Lambert that the twosome went their separate ways partly because Blake did not want children.
Call us crazy, but we're calling BS on this rumor.
Blake and Gwen make for a gorgeous and adorable couple. We like them a lot.
We're just really not sure why people out there are so quick to attach weddings and babies to their relationship.
Can't the stars just get along, have fun together, enjoy each other's bodies and each other's company and not get married or create any small humans together?
Let them be in love in peace, tabloids of America.