Wow. That about sums up The Bachelor finale last night, which played out almost entirely how The Bachelor spoilers predicted.
The only twist? A gut-wrenching 40-minute unedited scene where Arie Luyendyk Jr. blindsided Becca Kufrin with cameras rolling.
Oh yes. After hemming and hawing through his final two dates and even the last rose ceremony, Arie finally proposed to Becca ...
... then immediately continued obsessing over Lauren Burnham and decided to call off their engagement in a matter of weeks.
Three hours of raw, uncut pain showed us Becca's heartbreak and shock, but what happened next still remains to be seen.
Arie dumped Becca because he still wanted Lauren. But did the beautiful blonde feel the same way? Are they together now?
All signs point to ...
... Yes. Somewhat incredibly, considering that he rejected her for another girl after she struggled to open up but eventually did.
According to Bachelor spoiler god Reality Steve, Arie reached out to Lauren on the telephone the night of the season premiere.
Becca referred to this last night, after Arie mentioned that he still had feelings for Lauren which he was open with Becca about.
Still, she had no idea he was going to end it, which he did the second weekend in January - the footage we saw on the finale.
He then went to Lauren's family home in Virginia Beach, Va., to win her back, or at least go down swinging, on January 16.
Curiously, but perhaps not coincidentally, up until January 16, Lauren didn't post too much about the show on her Instagram.
But after Arie reunited with her and begged for a second chance, she began posting about it, and hinting at their relationship.
On January 29, she captioned a photo of herself and Arie on the the bowling group date: "He’s a perfect 10...*sigh* Spare me."
Considering that she's said about 12 words total this season on air, that was a pretty punny line by the 25-year-old sales rep.
On February 5, Lauren captioned a picture from her first 1-on-1 date with Arie "WOW." Yup, one word. That's more Lauren-like.
Two weeks later, Burnham posted a photo from her hometown date in which she and Arie are pawing each other under a pier.
She captioned it, "I’m not HORSING around ... I SEA something happening here. It apPIERS to me that this BEACH likes you."
Man alive, Lauren's dad jokes are on point.
It gets better. In Peru, she wrote, "Thanks for letting me Lima on you! Can't believe we tuk-tuk our love to Peru. #queenofpuns."
None of this is conclusive proof that they're still a thing, but it's hard to see her writing this if she got dumped twice by the same guy.
For his part, in a since-deleted tweet, a fan shared a photo of vanilla ice cream tubs with the caption "Lauren's family portrait."
Sort of an unnecessary zing at Lauren and family for being basic, but Arie responded to that dig, adding, "My favorite flavor."
Why come to her defense if he wasn't still with her? It's hard to imagine that they're not dating right now, but are they engaged?
According to Steve, they are not. Yet.
Given Arie's indecisiveness, they may never get there. But when the After the Final Rose special airs Tuesday, expect a united front.
As for Lauren's role in breaking up Arie and Becca, she's guaranteed to be subjected a whole lot of harassment in the coming weeks.
But should she? Did she have any idea this was coming?
And is it really her fault if a guy she's in love with continues to pursue her, and wants her badly enough to pull this kind of stunt?
Get this: Even as Arie informed Lauren he wasn’t picking her in Peru at the final rose ceremony, he actually told her “I love you.”
For real. This guy is a piece of work.
Given that statement and the fact that he called her the night of The Bachelor premiere in January, she likely knew how Arie felt.
Honestly, could she not?
Once he ended things with Becca, Lauren was obviously aware he was coming with cameras to Virginia to beg her for another chance.
We'll have to see how that played out when the five-hour (LOL) finale continues tonight, but she wasn't opposed to dating him.
And then there's the burning question of next season, and who will carry the franchise torch from here. To us, it's so obvious.
If there was ever a woman cut out for The Bachelorette, it's Becca Kufrin. Beautiful, sweet, funny, authentic ... and beloved.
After what she went through, all of America would be pulling for her and immediately invested in her JOURNEY (drink!) this summer.
How disappointed would you be at this point if, say, Tia Booth got the job? No offense to Tia, it would just seem anticlimactic.
The producers aren't fools and know that Becca is instant ratings gold. The job is clearly hers if she wants it ... but does she?
We shall see. Grab a hat and hold the f--k onto it.