The Bachelor Recap: Arie Probably Had Sex With All Three Girls But Only Two Got Roses

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The Bachelor's penultimate episode of Season 22 began with three women, but only two would receive roses from Arie Luyendyk Jr.

If you read The Bachelor spoilers, you know who predictably moved on to the finale ... and how the finale is just the beginning.

Arie with Lauren B.

As revealed weeks ago - and seemingly confirmed on Sunday's Women Tell All special, Arie gets engaged next Monday night.

Then Luyendyk does something super f--ked up, according to Caroline Lunny, who's close to one of the final three, Becca Kufrin.

We leave it up to you to decide if you want to check out those links and learn more. For now, let's break down the overnight dates.

(Also known as the long-awaited episode in which Arie romances Becca, Kendall Long and Lauren Burnham in the Fantasy Suite.)

Arie and his trio of finalists headed for Peru for what truly may have been the most intense installment in Bachelor history.

The Main Hunk kicked things off by taking Kendall out.

Arie's Face

She told the viewers that she was “falling” for Arie, yet also knew she was emotionally lagging behind the other two women.

“If Arie proposed to me today, I’d probably say no,” she actually admitted, earning points for a bit of honesty.

However, all it took was a day of riding on dune buggies for Kendall to say she wanted to ride Arie raw, accepting his invitation to a fantasy suite.

“I feel like I don’t want to move forward without knowing that there’s more than just the physical side - but after spending the day with you and talking with you tonight, I feel like you really made me so much more comfortable,” she explained.

After a night of presumably hot sex, Kendall's mind was changed and made up:

The Bachelor: Kendall

She wanted that proposal and she wanted it bad! 

Next up, Arie took a shower (most likely) and then took out Lauren.

They enjoyed time in the air over Nazca Lines, although Lauren was clearly stuck in her own head.

Arie complained that he could only see "glimpses" of this "incredible woman," to which she replied that she might actually leave the show. How come?

Because she was jealous that Arie was also dating two other women.

(Note to Lauren Burnham: It's gotten better at least, right? He was dating 23 other women, like, eight weeks ago.)

The Bachelor: Lauren B

How did Arie figure out how to get Lauren into bed solve this trust issue? He told her he loved her! Just like that! Out of nowhere!

“It’s just kind of crazy how quick and how hard I fell for you,” he says, adding:

“I just want to let you know that I do feel confident in all this, because I love you. And I would hate to lose you. It feels so good to say that.”

Cue the waterworks!

Cue Lauren assuming this meant Arie wanted to marry her, not just ravage her between the sheets!

“I just can’t see Arie ending up with anyone else but me,” Lauren said the next morning, after the two continually told each other they were in love.

A Kiss for Becca

From there... Arie went out with Becca, who he dubbed "safe and comfortable."

The date? A trip on a catamaran. All that was on Becca's mind? Telling Arie how she felt about him.

She didn't think Arie would reciprocate her feelings, but she just had to go for it.

“At this point, I just feel so confident with you and where I’m at with you,” she said. “I’ve been dying to tell you that. I do. I do love you.”

And guess what? Arie concurs! He whispers the L Bomb right back in response! And then he says it again and again after Becca asks him to and.. well...

... let's just hope Lauren wasn't watching this part of the episode.

The Bachelor: Rebecca

“He just told me he loves me, and I am shocked,” Becca said later.

“I did not think he would say that back, honestly. I’m so full and so happy and there’s just so much love, I feel like my heart is exploding.

"I want to hear it. I want him to keep saying it over and over and over!”

She even added:

"I see my life partner and my husband and the father of my children. I see it so clearly. Nothing can get in the way at all.”

After another session of banging a finalist, Arie said Becca was "literally perfect" and that he had even considered proposing to her on the spot.

It's a good thing he didn't, however, because her ex-boyfriend suddenly showed up on the scene!

Some dude named Ross appeared and said he was determined to get Becca back after the two had dated for seven years.

“I didn’t know anything about this show,” he said hilariously on camera. “I didn’t know it ended in a proposal until someone told me. Then I knew I had to do something.”

Before confronting Becca, Ross told Arie that she was "the love of my life" and he just had to see if she felt the same way about him.

Arie replied that he wouldn't get in the way... Ross went to Becca's hotel room... and total awkwardness ensued.

Becca Kufrin Pic

“I feel like you live your life in a movie, and you think it’s going to work out like The Notebook,” she told him, and she wasn't finished:

“This is like, you inserting yourself into my life, and that’s not your place. You are holding on to a shred of hope that we had years ago, so long ago.

"We have both changed so much. You don’t really know who I am anymore, and I don’t know who you are anymore. I can’t go back to that. I don’t want to go back to that."

Harsh, but honest. Goodbye, Ross.

with a rose

So that brings us to the Rose Ceremony, where the graying racecar driver said each remaining woman was "amazing and special."

But one apparently was not as amazing and special as the other two. As a result, the taxidermist got stuffed ... into a limo.

“We had an amazing night together, and I always have so much fun with you,” he told Kendall, prior to destroying her heart and her spirit.

“I know that next week is big. I’ve just been thinking a lot about us, and I just don’t know… I don’t think we can get there.”

And that was that.

Kendall took the news pretty well, actually. Better than most people on the show. Perhaps it finally hit her:

Wait, I was one of three women this dude banged in as many nights! I can deserve so much better!

Are you ready for the grand finale next Monday might? Who do you want to win, Lauren or Becca?

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The Bachelor Quotes

There’s still a lot of growing to do in our relationship. We will not tie the knot until I am mentally and physically prepared as well as Matt.

Shayne Lamas

It was a fairytale proposal like I’ve always dreamed about. I forgot that there [were] cameras around. In that moment, it was just Matt and I and it was the most amazing moment of my entire life.

Shayne Lamas [on proposal by Matt Grant]