In just six days, the New England Patriots will face off against the Philadelphia Eagles in what may well prove to be one of the most lopsided Super Bowls in NFL history.
Between his team's obnoxious dominance of the AFC, his history of shrugging off cheating allegations, and a haircut that makes him look like a guy who would happily park his Lamborghini in a handicapped space, it's not hard to see why Pats QB Tom Brady is so widely despised.
But even when doling out some well-deserved trash talk to Tom Terrific, it's important to observe Mafia rules:
You have to leave the man's wife and children out of it, and you can only put a severed horse head in his bed if you're a vengeance-seeking Colts fan.
Unfortunately, a co-host of a Boston radio show failed to adhere to that code of conduct, which means he'll soon be "deflated" by Brady's team of "equipment managers."
(That means he'll be stabbed repeatedly.)
Now, being a member of the Boston sports media means publicly fellating misters Brady, Belichick, and Kraft in hopes that one day Bill Simmons will offer you a job ghost-writing his 14,000-word listicles cataloging the most underrated quotes from The Wire.
WEEI host Alex Reimer broke the rules in a big way last week by referring to Brady's daughter as a “an annoying little pissant.”
The comment was made in response to a scene in the hagiographic documentary Tom Against Time, which apparently features a scene in which Brady's daughter behaves in a way that Reimer deemed unacceptable.
Brady is a weekly guest on Reimer's show (talk about biting the injured throwing hand that feeds you) and needless to say, this morning's interview was a mite tense:
“I’ve tried to come on this show for many years and showed you guys a lot of respect,” Brady said Monday before abruptly ending the conversation.
“I’ve always tried and come on and do a good job for you guys. It’s very disappointing when you hear that, certainly. My daughter, or any child, certainly don’t deserve that," he added.
“I really don’t have much to say about it this morning.”
We kid Tom, but in all seriousness, it's beyond uncool to talk trash a public figure's kid.
Besides, this is Tom Brady we're talking about.
Despite his many accomplishments and rugged good looks, the guy's life is a treasure trove of shade-throwing possibilities.
How about the allegations that he banged Ivanka Trump?
Or the fact that Tom keeps trying and failing to convince the press that he's not friends with Floyd Mayweather because his wife is understandably less than thrilled by the fact that he hangs with convicted wife beaters?
Or better yet, why not just be good sports and hope that Brady gets repeatedly pounded into the turf and humiliated in front of the world's largest television audience on Sunday?