It's been 15 months since Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie separated, and during that time, the tabloid press has linked Brad to just about every actress in Hollywood, with the possible exception of Betty White.
So it was only a matter of time before rumors of Pitt getting back together with his most famous ex began to make their way across the media landscape.
Yes, according to such reliable and reputable outlets as the esteemed Star magazine, Brad is back together with Jennifer Aniston.
The outlet claims that Brad and Jen enjoyed a secretive rendezvous in Aspen this week.
Sadly, their cover was blown when some plebe was all, "Whoa, that's Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston. And it appears they're conoodling!"
The tabloid reports that Jen revealed to friends last week that she was “about to make some very happy memories with her ex, by escaping with Brad to Aspen, Colorado for a hush-hush reunion.”
As for the fact that Aniston is married to Justin Theroux, Star says you should quit being such a nerd about it:
“With her marriage to Justin Theroux on very thin ice, sneaking away behind her husband’s back for a snowy rendezvous with Brad could rekindle the flame between the exes.”
Yes, there's snow and flames!
Apparently, George R.R. Martin is writing for Star magazine now.
Speaking of awkwardly shoe-horned references to beloved television shows, In Touch is doubling down on Star's report by claiming that Brad went full Maeby Fünke during his weekend with Jen.
"Marry me!" Pitt reportedly blurted out, prompting a whole lot of flustered Rachel Green-esque stuttering from Aniston.
“Brad and Jen have bonded like never before over the past year… He flat out told Jen that if he ever had the chance, he would marry her again.” an "insider" tells the magazine.
“She was left speechless by Brad’s stunning admission. Jen was deeply touched by Brad’s heartfelt words, and it has remained on her mind ever since," the source adds.
"She’ll always be his greatest love, his soulmate, and he’s relying on her as his closest confidante right now.”
Yes, now that Brad's fake relationship with Kate Hudson has come to a close, the media is fully committed to his fake relationship to Jen.
Obviously, they'll get bored eventually, and it's still anyone's guess as to what's next for Brad's fake love life.
Here's hoping Betty White is still with us to inspire some 2019 rumors.