Briana DeJesus doesn't hold back when talking about her deadbeat baby daddies.
She's had a lot to say about Devoin Austin, and with good reason. But Luis Miguel, Briana's latest but definitely not her greatest, didn't escape her ire, either.
For one thing, Luis cheated on her.
And now Briana's revealed exactly how she got revenge on him. Strap yourselves in, because you're in for a ride.
Recently, Briana DeJesus has been slamming Devoin Austin for stealing her pics of their kid for social media -- to make it look like she's in her life as a father.
(Seriously, he'd post the photos to his Instagram as if he'd been the one behind the camera; we guess that he wanted to look good to his followers but doesn't care about actually being there, huh?)
And that was before Devoin landed himself back behind bars.
Jail is actually a valid excuse for not being there for your child's big milestones, though it's not going to make you look great.
After that rehash of legal troubles, Briana DeJesus went on a huge rant about Devoin.
Briana may seem boring at times on screen, but she goes wild on social media sometimes.
And speaking of which, that's how we found out about her practically biblical response to Luis' cheating.
It's almost enough to make you feel sorry for Luis Miguel.
So, remember how Briana found out that Luis was cheating on her, half a year into her pregnancy with his baby?
Briana sure remembers. And in this emoji-laden thread of tweets, she's spilling the beans on how she enacted her swift and entertaining vengeance.
"Wish @MTV was able to film and show what I did to Luis after I found out he cheated."
We suspect that they couldn't film it, in part, because this doesn't sound entirely legal.
(We're not even sure that it was wise of her to tweet out a confession, though Luis would have be have some nerve to press charges, if that's even an option)
"I had keys to his house and bought over 500 crickets and just let them free inside his room..."
"He still has no idea it was me but I guess he'll find out now."
Yeah, that's what happens when you tweet it.
That wasn't the end of her revenge, though.
"Then a few weeks later I went back and did the same thing but this time I used baby crickets."
We can't say that we approve of any of this -- of pranks in general, of entering someone's house without permission, or of doing this to those crickets that never did anything wrong.
But we were pretty amused by the next part of her story.
"I remember we were filming at dinner and he's like 'omg there's crickets in my house I couldn't sleep last night, I had to vacuum them up.'"
That's right -- he looked to her, the baby mama on whom he cheated, for sympathy.
It sounds like she played her part pretty well.
"And I'm crying like how the hell did u get crickets in ur house and he's like IDKKKKKK."
"And I'm like u know the vacuum isn't going to do much they can crawl back out and he's like 'omg I didn't think of that.'"
Don't vacuum cleaners have fans and filters? Different kinds work in different ways, we suppose.
"So the whole time he's saying how he was up alll night and mind u I'm crying tears like I couldn't hold it in. I almost blew my cover up."
That is such a ridiculous situation. He must have felt like he was losing his mind.
"Put let me tell u... 500 crickets in a small room is rough.. i felt bad cause it deadass sounded like I was in a Forrest."
She means, just, a regular forest. Typos are easy to make and autocorrect is ... fun.
"What was even funnier is me trying to untie the bag with the crickets in it and throw It. A few landed on me."
Is that considered friendly fire?
"And I remember him texting me photos of the dead crickets weeks later like 'this s--t doesn't end, why me.'"
Imagine having the audacity to say that to the woman you cheated on.
If you'll recall, though Briana broke up with Luis, he agreed to coparent their child.
Fast-forward to a few months after their child was born, and he's still a deadbeat.
To no one's surprise, except maybe Briana's -- she might have creative ideas about revenge, but her taste in men is just awful.
We love a good revenge story.
We just hope that admitting it to the world doesn't land Briana in any kind of trouble.