Is anyone else a little alarmed by how fast Amber Portwood's new relationship is moving?
Because you really, really should be.
Sure, this new guy, Andrew Glennon, seems nice enough, and at least he has a job.
Plus, as far as we know, he doesn't have a slew of secret children he refuses to support.
What we're saying is that at this point, he seems miles better than Matt Baier, and that's definitely a good thing.
But the fact remains that Amber has never, ever been in a healthy relationship. Not ever.
She was with Gary Shirley for a while, and they may win the crown for the most toxic relationship in Teen Mom history.
After that, she dated that guy she met at the Walmart who later, on their first date, revealed that he'd just been released from prison and that meeting her was the best day of his life.
She missed out on dating for a little while when she went to jail herself, but after she was released, she promptly began dating Matt.
It's all bad, and honestly, we kind of have to automatically question any guy who would think dating her right now would be a good idea.
So sorry about it, Andrew.
Luckily for us and our hobby of boyfriend judging, Amber and Andrew just did their first interview together as a couple.
So let's check it out and figure out what's wrong with this guy!
To start, Amber confirmed what we already knew: they met earlier this summer while she and Matt were filming a new season of Marriage Boot Camp.
"He didn't really know who I was and we didn't talk on the show because, you know, he would get in trouble, and I would have gotten in trouble," she explains.
"But I didn't even know that he even liked me! It just simply was he had a little crush on me."
Red flag number one: because seriously, can you imagine how much of a hot mess Amber must have been on Marriage Boot Camp? And he developed a crush then?
Amber says that two weeks after they finished filming -- so mid-July -- he reached out to her.
"We decided that we wanted to be friends at first because we were just having so much fun talking with each other and, you know, then when he came out to hang out, we just had even more fun together, so that's just kind of how it started."
Red flag number two: this is exactly how Matt worked his claws into her. He came to "hang out" and never left.
Andrew says that when he came to Indiana to see her, "It was definitely butterflies there, but again, as we started talking, strangely I felt so comfortable, which was amazing."
Amber claims that "We're going slow and we're just trying to be smart about everything, which is good to find somebody on your level like that."
"I think we just kind of fell into this groove of really enjoying life with each other for a while, so it's kind of fun and it's kind of serious in a way as well, but we're trying not to put too much pressure on a relationship."
Red flag number three: what the hell is she talking about, "we're going slow"?
Last we checked, introducing your daughter to a guy you just really started talking to a month ago isn't exactly "slow."
But thankfully, Andrew lives out in Malibu, and he hasn't moved in with her -- yet. So for now, they have a long distance relationship.
Which, according to Amber, has 'been good because we can give each other space. It balances everything out especially when you first break up with somebody."
Because, as she says, "you don't really want to jump right into another situation" immediately after a breakup, but "some men are worth it, some aren't."
And Andrew is "definitely worth my time."
As for the fact that Amber already introduced Andrew to her daughter, she says "Leah sent me a message, like, pretty much she really likes him."
"I think she just thinks he's new and different which is a good thing, but like I said, nothing is forced and we're not trying to jump that part of my life in, so it was very chill, very relaxing."
She adds that "Leah was very comfortable," which ... sure, OK.
Amber also confirms that Andrew will appear on the next season of Teen Mom OG, because why wouldn't he?
She then throws in this gem:
"I think the reason why we are where we're at right now is because we both have kind of let it flow and then it became more serious and then we became committed."
Again, these two have been dating for one month.
But hey, Amber, you do you.