Tragically, it's time once again to talk about one of our least favorite people in the world: Alleged child murderer Casey Anthony.
Not that we like anyone who empathizes with O.J. Simpson, but Casey ... well, she's almost universally reviled, and for good reason.
And now one of her former attorneys is speaking out with a theory of what happened. Suffice it to say, it doesn't paint her in a good light.
We don't imagine that she'd be happy to hear this, but we also don't imagine the public cares a whole lot about her feelings.
Most people don't so much spin theories about what happened as talk about what they wish had happened at trial.
It's probably fair to say that most of America has a pretty good idea of what 3-year-old Caylee Anthony's final moments were.
Moreover, it's pretty likely that those people have definite opinions about what Anthony's fate should have been, as well.
But Cheney Mason, who was one of Casey Anthony's attorney's during the trial, has his own statements to make.
In fact, the infamous Floridian's former attorney says that she "blacked out" the death of Caylee, who went missing in 2008.
"I believe that Casey’s mind, in some dimension," he said, "I guess the common word would say ‘snapped.'"
There aren't parallel universes inside of people's brains, unless I missed that Psych course, but please, continue.
"She didn’t go sniveling crazy by any means, but blacked out - completely a blackout - of what went on and what happened."
Usually people black out from drinking or extreme sleepiness or from trauma, but the trauma is something being done to them.
Unless experts can find some explanation, it's hard to see how Casey could have blacked out and committed a murder and then gotten rid of evidence.
"She didn’t know what she was doing or what she was saying."
This is so complicated, because we get the feeling that he might actually believe this. And he had even more to add ...
Cheney Mason goes on to suggest that he doesn't believe that Casey Anthony even fully realized that her child was dead until after the trial.
That's interesting, since Casey was of course analyzed by psychiatrists.
While one noted that she was "surprisingly cheerful."
Another noted that she seemed "stripped of all emotion."
But apparently their conclusion was that she had no sign of mental illness.
An inability to grasp that a crime has been committed or to notice other aspects of reality ...
(Like that your child is not alive but is in fact dead)
... Usually qualifies as a sign of mental illness.
It's the sort of thing that usually precludes somebody from even standing trial.
(Or it's supposed to, anyway)
That said, his statement reinforces what she's said herself. Remember how Casey Anthony said that she has no clue how Caylee died?
That would work with her former attorney's "theory."
But it's more than a little suspect.
Let's say that, hypothetically, Casey Anthony blacked out and murdered her daughter.
Well ... that wouldn't explain the searches for "chloroform" and "neck-breaking" on Casey Anthony's computer.
It especially wouldn't explain how those searches had been deleted.
Even drunken blackouts don't usually feature people doing things that they wouldn't at least potentially done sober.
So we feel like a "blackout" doesn't really explain away much of anything.
(Except maybe it's an explanation that he came up with to explain why she came across as so cold and unfeeling)
(Like, maybe he needed an explanation so that he can sleep at night, because he can't wrap his head around the mind of a monster and needed to explain it away)
In fact, it mostly just stirs up old anger at yet another verdict that horrified the nation.
That resentment doesn't go away when you remember that Casey Anthony is apparently bored by her freedom.
She's bored by a life that Caylee will never get to experience.
You know what?
This whole thing reminds us of that terrible Casey Anthony-inspired episode of Law & Order: SVU.
All that we really remember about the episode was that Hilary Duff guest starred and that the twist was that she didn't do it.
That is, folks, not the way to rip a story from the headlines to make an episode.