If Travis Scott is looking for a new nickname, he may want to go with "the Captain Kirk of Rap."
The dude is out there boldly going where no man has gone before, and he's happy to report back to us earthbound civilians.
Now, you might be thinking as you read this:
"Travis Scott is sleeping with Kylie Jenner."
"So what? He's certainly not the first."
And you would be right.
But what you fail to consider, contrarian, hypothetical reader is that this isn't the first time Travis has taken a dip in the Jenner gene pool.
No, as you may recall, the random rapper and reality star turned supermodel Kendall Jenner had a brief fling last year as well.
The two of them never officially dated, so it's not surprising that Kendall would be okay with letting her sister enjoy her hand-me-downs.
It is somewhat surprising, however, that:
1. Neither of these girls can date a rapper that anyone actually listens to;
2. Travis has taken to publicly comparing the two sisters', erm ... assets.
“He’s been boasting that Kylie’s way better in bed than Kendall and has more to play with, but Kendall’s got more personality," a source close to the situation tells something called News Hip Hop.
Yeah. We won't comment on that, except to say, "more to play with"? Gross.
Adding to the skeeviness, the outlet that we've never heard of until just now notes that these days, "Kendall is linked to A$AP Rocky, who must be a personality guy."
Stay classy, News Hip Hop.
If you're already feeling like you may need to bathe in Purell after reading all this, then you may not want to to continue.
Somehow, it's about to get even more incestuous:
Says the insider, who somehow knows quite a lot about Travis Scott's sexual dalliances as well as his mindset, drops this bombshell:
“Scott’s real intention is ‘trading up’ to Kourtney Kardashian because his goal is to go through the entire extended Kardashian family."
Yes, Travis has set his sights on the eldest of the Kardashian siblings, a mother of three who's twice the age of his previous conquests.
Of course, these days Kourtney is dating Younes Bendjima, a former professional boxer, who might not take kindly to this.
Any untoward advances from his girlfriend's teenage half-sister's boyfriend could result in ... well, a story we would definitely report on.
All we have to say in conclusion is yeesh.
First the Blac Chyna-Tyga-Kylie situation, and now Travis Scott going bed-hopping throughout the entire first family of reality TV.
This is Calabasas, not Kentucky!
Anyway, since not all of us can be in Travis Scott's shoes, and he's got us playing out all sorts of scenarios in our heads, we gotta ask:
Who would you rather ... y'know?