Mel Brooks once said, “Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.”
We'd like to amend that to read:
Tragedy is when an American college student's life is cut tragically short because of brutal treatement by a tyrannical dictator. Comedy is when said dictator does karaoke with Dennis Rodman.
As you may have heard, 22-year-old Otto Warmbier passed away this week after suffering extensive brain damage during the 17 months he was held prisoner in a North Korean labor camp.
Because 2017 is truly the darkest timeline, Dennis Rodman shoehorned himself into the story, and he discusses his involvement in Warmbier's release, as well his odd relationship with North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un in the clip above.
"I don't look at the political about him," Rodman said when asked about Kim. "I look at the friendship about him."
"With the whole political ... with the kid that just got out and died, I didn't know that I was the one that's supposed to go and get him out."
Rodman was immediately contradicted by his own lawyer, who told interviewer Michael Strahan:
"I know being there had something to do with it."
The attorney goes on to refute claims from the State Department and Warmbier's father, both of whom are adamant that Rodman had nothing to do with Otto's release.
Considering the former NBA star traveled to North Korea in attire emblazoned with logos for a company called PotCoin and didn't even meet with Kim on this trip, we're gonna go ahead and side with the people who actually know what the hell they're talking about.
"We always talk," Rodman said of his friendship with Kim. "We sing karaoke. It's always fun. Ride horses."
"Those people don't hate us," Rodman continued.
"It's the politics that's the bad thing."
Yeah, Dennis - we're pretty sure the people of North Korea would agree with you that the guy who's denied basic human rights to millions of his own citizens doesn't have the greatest political beliefs.
Rodman goes on to implore Donald Trump to meet with him and "work things out" with Kim.
Obviously, that's a ridiculous notion, as Trump and Kim are locked in a heated contest for the title of Despot With the Most Ridiculous Haircut.
Rodman went on to reveal that he "loves controversy" because it's "good publicity," but denied that he's in this for the exposure, saying:
"I'm too damn famous for all this. What am I getting from all this?"
Well, probably a pretty endorsement deal from PotCoin, for starters.
Yes, PotCoin - soon to be the official currency of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.
Look for it in a post-apocalyptic hellscape near you.