Miley Cyrus: I Quit Smoking Weed & I'm Ready to Save the Country!

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First Woody Harrelson, now this.

Next thing you know, Willie Nelson and Snoop Dogg will be joining forces with Jeff Sessions to spearhead Humboldt County helicopter raids.

Sorry, we're getting a little ahead of ourselves.

Allow us to introduce you to the new Miley Cyrus:

Miley Cyrus Covers Billboard

Yes, it's hard to believe that wholesome-looking 24-year-old (The tattoos kinda mess up the image, but you know what she's going for.) is the same young woman who used to test the limits of Instagram's nudity policy on a daily basis.

But like it or not, Miley says she's a completely new woman these days.

She's even put down the devil's lettuce in pursuit of a more mainstream, countrified image:

“I f--king hate it when people can’t adjust," Miley tells Billboard in the magazine's latest issue.

"I used to [resist changing]. But I haven’t smoked weed in three weeks, which is the longest I’ve ever [gone without it]. I’m not doing drugs, I’m not drinking, I’m completely clean right now! That was just something that I wanted to do.”

Miley Cyrus Loves Liam Hemsworth

So what's the reasoning behind this transformation?

Well, there are bound to be more rumors that Miley changed for Liam Hemsworth, but the quirky songstress says that's not the case:

Aside from the fact that it's hard to pay attention to a stripped-down acoustic set when the singer is literally stripped down (call it the "Jenny from Forrest Gump" effect), Miley says she believes she'll have more of a political impact if she's wearing clothes:

"I've got to glue this place back together," Miley says, "this place," of course, being the good old U.S. of A.

“I love talking to people, and I approach them in a normal, ‘Don’t treat me different, ’cause I’m not’ way. That’s what started this evolution for me, getting out of my Dead Petz phase,” she tells Billboard.

“People stare at me anyway, but people stare at me a lot when I’m dressed as a f--king cat… I like talking to people that don’t agree with me, but I don’t think I can do that in an aggressive way."

Miley Cyrus at George Mason

She adds (hopefully with a completely straight face):

"I don’t think those people are going to listen to me when I’m sitting there in nipple pasties, you know?”

We should've figured this out when Miley didn't post a pic of herself being rolled up in a giant blunt to celebrate 4/20.

That's like Santa deciding to just Fed Ex all the presents on December 26 to save on shipping.

Anyway, it's great that Miley's trying to take her life in what she sees as a more positive direction, but here's hoping she only put her crotchless latex bodysuits and five-foot bong in the closet, and not in the trash.

We're starting to miss the old Miley already.

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Miley Cyrus Biography

Miley Cyrus Hair
Miley Cyrus has evolved tremendously over the years. Initially known for portraying Hannah Montana, the singer/actress made an effort to... More »
Franklin, Tennessee
Full Name
Destiny Hope Cyrus

Miley Cyrus Quotes

Thank you guys for all your support. Without you, none of this would be possible. I love every one of you and I could not be more appreciative. God bless you.

Miley Cyrus [at a concert, soon after photo scandal broke]

I have let myself down. I will learn from my mistakes and trust my support team. My family and my faith will guide me through my life's journey.

Miley Cyrus [on lewd photos]