Johnny Depp isn't exactly killing it these days.
Sure, he's still got the private island in the Bahamas and he probably woke up this afternoon with two spindly models in his bed, but as he stumbles into his mid-50s, the Tim Burton Frankenstein lab creation is definitely learning to take the good with the bad.
These days, most of the cringeworthy Depp gossip comes not from anonymous sources on social media, but from far more reliable court documents.
You see, when Depp's not out drumming up press for Pirates of the Caribbean 5, which critics are describing as an experience akin to an emergency colonoscopy with talking parrots and sh-t, he's in court.
Most of the recent tabloid headlines have had to do with Depp's legal wrangling with his management group, TMG.
Both parties are suing one another in an increasingly ridiculous court battle that's brought to light a number of spending habits that shed a lot of light on Johnny's recent years.
(The $30,000 a month on wine, wasn't exactly shocking, but it's still pretty amusing.)
Of course, before this latest round of courtroom drama, Johnny's divorce from Amber Heard served as a constant source of bizarre and sometimes troubling revelations.
Heard's attorneys painted a picture of Depp as something a besotted monster - abusive, controlling, almost pathologically possessive.
Divorce lawyers aren't the most upstanding lot, and we may never know for sure how many of those claims were accurate, but it's interesting that the latest Depp-disparaging legal docs come not from Heard, her attorneys, or even someone who's on Amber's side.
They come from a man named Chris Hanley, a producer on the film London Fields, in which Heard has a leading role.
The movie has yet to see the light of day, and Hanley claims that's due in large part to Heard - and her tumultuous marriage to Depp which caused near-constant production problems.
The main issue, Hanley claims, is that Depp jealously demanded that Heard pulled support for provocative scenes depicing her likeness, even when said scenes were shot with a body-double.
In documents obtained by The Hollywood Reporter, Hanley blasts both Heard and Depp, claiming that Johnny was a nuisance and Heard brought her personal drama to the set on a regular basis.
"Amber Heard should be ashamed," reads a preliminary statement from Hanley's lawyers.
The statement does on to reveal that Depp was so upset about Heard's role in the film, that it may have been a contributing factor to their divorce:
"Heard has made numerous fantastical accusations against Depp, and reports of her alleged affair with co-star Billy Bob Thornton became so pervasive that Thornton issued a public denial," Hanley's lawyers claim.
"Indeed, while generally concealed from Plaintiff at the time, Plaintiff is now informed and believes that the provocative nature of Heard's femme fatale role in the film was a factor leading to her divorce from Depp."
Hanley's lawyers go on to claim that Depp forced Heard to reverse course on risque scenes to which she had already agreed:
"He told the Hanleys that her ex-husband Johnny Depp (who had no cutting rights) would not approve of certain scenes or of her overall provocative performance, Heard herself approved of those scenes on several occasions," states the document.
"Heard later reversed course, apparently under perceived or actual pressure from Depp (who, according to Heard, was extremely jealous)."
Like we said, not a great PR year for Johnny.
He may be beyond Disney salvation at this point.
The man needs a wacky stop-motion adventure with a goth sensibility and a Danny Elfman score STAT!