Dr. Phil has been on a real role lately.
The walrus-like charlatan of daytime television has been exploiting troubled women for years, but lately he's stepped up his game up to the point that he's managed to go viral several times in the span of a few months.
Not bad for a guy who's been looking down on the mentally ill from his high horse since the '90s!
First he trended by taking advantage of Shelley Duvall's mental illness.
Then came the Cash Me Ousside Girl, a phenomenon we still can't figure out:
And now, there's Haley (last name not provided), a troubled 20-year-old who caught Phil's interest with her beliefs that she was pregnant with the second coming of Jesus Christ, and that Eminem was her father.
Haley first went viral when she appeared on the show back in November.
These days, she's being treated for schizophrenia, and she no longer believes she's knocked up with the son of God.
She says she's aware now that what she thought was baby Jesus was really just gas, which is an amusing statement until you remember that Haley is mentally ill and says she "still feels like" she lost a child.
As a therapist, it's Phil's job to recognize that Haley is in dire need of long-term medical attention, and that the last thing she needs is to be paraded in front of his audience every two months.
Thankfully, she's receiving help from actual medical professionals, and she no longer believes she was impregnated through immaculate conception.
She's inflexible on the Eminem question, however:
Clearly, the audience is amused by Haley, but there's nothing funny about her situation.
In the clip above, Phil gets a chuckle by grilling her about her relationship to Eminem.
When she states that she believes the Phil is both her uncle and the rapper's father, Phil quips
"Well, I have a son who's a musician, but it ain't Slim Shady."
Ha! Only real doctors like Phil appreciate how truly hilarious schizophrenia really is.
Never change, Phil.
Just kidding, change immediately; you're terrible.
Can we make Oprah pay some sort of massive public fine for introducing this mustachioed penis to the world?
Seems like someone should have to pay.