If you know only one thing about the famous (infamous?) Duggar family, it's probably that these folks love 'em some procreatin'.
It's kinda their whole thing, if we're being honest.
Like, women in the Duggar family are told from a young age that they've been put on the Earth for the sole purpose of squeezing out babies.
But like your Aunt Mildred who only gets loaded on Christmas, the Duggars have very strict rules governing their favorite activity.
In Duggar Land, the path from meeting a potential sperm donor to beginning the gestation process is not known as dating.
It is known as "courting," and it is very structured.
As fans know, the Duggar courtship rules make the family look down right chillaxed in every other aspect of their pious lives.
(Which is saying something, given the other things they don't care for, as explained in the gallery below ... just an aside.)
Forget about pre-marital sex, the Duggars aren't even allowed to hold hands for extended periods of time prior to exchanging vows.
The family reportedly freaked about about Jinger Duggar flouting courtship rules by - gasp! - hugging her fiance before marriage.
Yes, Jinger engaged in full-frontal hugging with Jeremy Vuolo, her pastor fiance, before the couple walked down the aisle last fall.
And yes, this was somehow a notable controversy.
If those rumors are true, then the Duggs must really be freaking out about the latest gossip surrounding fan favorite daughter Joy-Anna:
These days, Joy-Anna is courting Austin Forsyth.
The new couple announced their relationship on a recent episode of the family's TLC reality series, because obviously they did.
If you watch Counting On online, you know this isn't anything new - Jessa, Jill and Jinger's courtships have played out similary.
Duggar children tell the world they're dating someone before they even kiss the person, which isn't creepy in the slightest.
Hey, when you're a Duggar, it's what you do!
This, however, is NOT what they typically do:
Star magazine (we know, we know) claims that the young couple simply cannot keep their hands - or their genitals - off each other:
“Despite this ‘courting’ nonsense, Joy-Anna and Austin have actually been having sex together for a year," a source tells the tabloid.
The insider goes on to claim that the lusty coupling nearly resulted in one of those Sin Babies that would be utterly unthinkable.
Oh yes. The insider claims:
“She [Joy-Anna] and Austin went way past hand-holding stage a long time ago ... and it led to them getting the fright of their young lives."
How far past that stage?
Use your imagination ... and consider how impressive - and how turned on - they'd have to be to evade non-stop chaperones.
Apparently, the "fright" turned out to be a false alarm, and "that was obviously a huge sigh of relief for everyone concerned."
Nevertheless, we're told, "it didn’t erase the horror."
For the couple themselves? No, for Jim Bob and Michelle, who came closer than close to having another family sex scandal on their hands!”
Something tells us "horror" isn't the word Jim Bob used when he learned that Joy-Anna and Austin were having recreational intercourse.
But man alive, to be a fly on the wall during that chat.
Anyway, as much as we wish it were true, the whole thing is almost certainly BS. Even if they wanted to, could they possibly pull it off?
The Duggars, as we know, are famous for sending de facto bodyguards with courting duos in any social setting to prevent such a thing.
We don't buy it, which is a shame in a sense.
Can you imagine if this were true? It would have made for one of the great spinoff pitches in the history of reality TV.
We can already hear the voiceover for the trailer:
"Cast out of her family's home due to her sinful ways, a young woman seeks reproductive services, healthcare and employment in Trump's America."
"This, is Modern Tragedy!"