Rihanna: Hoping to Be Brad Pitt's Rebound Piece?!

by at .

Unless you've been shutting out all media in hopes of avoiding any talk of bad hombres and nasty women, you're probably aware that Angelina Jolie has filed for divorce from Brad Pitt.

You may also be aware that Pitt is rather popular among the ladies and probably won't be sleeping alone for very long.

Pitt has probably already rebounded more times than Wilt Chamberlain, which is an analogy that works on multiple levels.

Brad Pitt Stares

Even so, there's no shortage of famous women who want to be the special lady to help Brad get over his messy split with Jolie.

Jennifer Garner joked about dating Brad, and Kate Hudson openly said she'd be DTF if Brad gave her a call.

Now, according to Star magazine, Rihanna is the latest female celeb to enter the race for the Pitt Dong.

In an article hilariously titled, "Rihanna Hot To Trot With Brad!" the tabloid claims RiRi has had her eye on Brad for years.

Rihanna: 2016 BRIT Awards

(Hilariously, the piece is sub-titled, "She's offering Angie's ex a sexy shoulder to cry on!" Sexy shoulder! HA!)

“You look at Brad Pitt and it’s like, ‘Damn!'” Rihanna allegedly said to a friend, sounding very much like a middle-aged tabloid writer attempting to approximate the dialect of the "urban youth."

“Now that Angelina Jolie’s kicked Brad to the curb and filed for divorce, RiRi’s romantic fantasies can finally become a reality," says one insider.

“She’s wanted to get it on with him for years.”

(Ed. note: "Get it on!" Despite appearances to the contrary, these quotes are not taken from an Onion piece parodying celebrity journalism.)

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, In Better Times

Naturally, the piece goes on to point out that Rihanna recently broke up with Drake, because its operating under the assumption that all single celebrities are within minuted of having sex with one another.

Star claims that Pitt and RiRi nearly hooked up at a benefit concert in New Orleans in 2012, causing Angie to fly into a rage.

“Stay away from that woman!" pissed-Jolie reportedly exclaimed.

"Rihanna’s been a thorn in Angie’s side for years,” says a source.

“She’ll explode if she finds out Brad rebounded into Rihanna’s arms!”

So if there's any truth to this story (there isn't) Rihanna would get to bang Brad Pitt and have revenge on a rival at the same time?

That might earn her an embossed thank you letter from Jennifer Aniston.

Show Comments
Tags: , , ,

Brad Pitt Biography

Us Weekly Honor
Brad Pitt might just be the best looking man on the planet. He's also a very talented actor and seems to be a legitimate humanitarian.... More »
Born
Birthplace
Shawnee, Oklahoma
Full Name
William Bradley Pitt

Brad Pitt Quotes

I'm impervious to poo, snot, urine, vomit. You can't get me. You cannot break me down.

Brad Pitt

Our seven-year-old was searching the word 'weapons' on Google the other day and ended up on some white-supremacist site. I'm sure now we're on all kinds of watch lists.

Brad Pitt