Mariah Carey: James Packer TRAUMATIZED Me!

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Mariah Carey needs a good solid grip on reality and needs to stop grasping at butterflies and glitter. Grow up, girl - it's high time.

You're almost 50 years old. 

Put down the ponies and rainbows. Real life is crap sometimes. 

ET Online reported that Mariah Carey is absolutely "traumatized" by her split from billionaire James Packer, and we're apt to believe that it's because she just kissed billions of dollars goodbye, because, you know, The Elusive Chanteuse or whoever. 

James Packer and Mariah Carey Photo

The source said, "Mariah is traumatized by all of this but is putting on a brave face."

"She never meant to fall for James."

But she did, or at least his high-profile lifestyle, and there you have it. 

If she never meant to "fall" for him, then she probably shouldn't have agreed to married him, right? 

Sense and all that. 

James Packer and Mariah

In recent days, everything from cheating to Scientology has been blamed for the Carey/Packer breakup

A report emerged that claimed Scientology was behind Mariah's split, and that one of Packer's friends, a high-up in Scientology, was to blame for the couple's demise. 

It was also revealed that the friend and his Thetan ways "poisoned" the relationship, as Mariah is not a Scientologist, and nobody really knows about the private life of Packer except that he's got a gazillion bucks. 

How did the Scientolofriend "poison" the relationship, you ask? 

Packer was said to have brought him in to help him curb excessive spending (surprise, surprise, Elusive Chanteuse), and that it caused a major rift between Carey and Packer. 

James Packer with Mariah Carey

Another rumor was that Mariah cheated with a backup dancer

However, the report claimed that Mariah would "never cheat," because she and Packer hadn't even physically consummated their relationship. 

Read? Mariah wouldn't put out, so there was no reason or rationale behind cheating on James, and especially with a lowly, likely-low rent backup dancer. 

The report stated that Mariah and James "made out plenty," but that sex, in their 500-day relationship, did not exist. 

That's enough to drive anybody - save for the Duggars - mad. 

Brian Tanaka and Mariah Carey

Girl, stop. 

Just stop. 

Things are pretty embarrassing for you right now, and nobody even cares about James Packer ... 

... Because you're the Elusive Chanteuse. 

Go be elusive somewhere in private for awhile, okay? 

The drama's really starting to wear thin. 

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Mariah Carey Biography

Mariah Pic
Mariah Carey can hit high notes very, very well. She's had an incredible career, that's for sure. Carey is marred to Nick Cannon and... More »
Huntington, New York
Full Name
Mariah Carey

Mariah Carey Quotes

I'm in love with my dog. He is my special someone. I love spending time with him.

Mariah Carey

We really do feel we are soulmates. I never felt a love like this was in the cards for me.

Mariah Carey [on Nick Cannon]