The douche in here is thick enough to cut with a knife.
Legendary golfer/philanderer, Tiger Woods, doesn't regret cheating on his ex-wife, Elin Nordegren.
To be clear, Tiger Woods cheated on Elin Nordegren, and he's totally okay with it.
In a bombshell interview, Woods told Charlie Rose, "[My only regret in life was] not spending another year at Stanford," his former university.
Rose incredulously asked if that was the only regret from his life - a life of many regrets by all outward appearances - yet Woods was firm in his "no."
When further pressed about his divorce from Nordegren, and if Woods had ever expressed remorse to his children about his infidelities, Woods said, "No."
"No. I don't. I haven't said that," he replied.
"I said 'Everybody makes mistakes, and the reason why mommy's living in her house and daddy's living in his house is because daddy made mistakes, and it's okay."
Except for the part, you know, where it's not, and apparently Tiger has a communication breakdown in the syanpses of his brain, because most mistakes culminate in regrets.
You'd probably have to have a conscience to experience regret, though.
"I made a bunch of mistakes," he conceded.
"But in the end, Elin is my ex-wife."
"She's one of my best friends," he added.
"We've had two beautiful kids."
(That weren't figured into the remorse equation when Tiger was boning his many mistresses, apparently.)
There's only one thing certain, and that it's that nothing is certain when it comes to Tiger Woods (except for, perhaps, a dong wandering deep into the woods to find his balls).
It's nothing short of shocking that he'd say that he has "no regret" about cheating on his ex-wife ...
... But then again, it was nothing short of shocking when we found out the extent of his infidelities.
His career hasn't really recovered from the 2009 cheating scandal, and sorry to say, we've got no "rebound" joke there - things were just too deep.
Tiger's public persona has basically been out of control ever since, and it's high time we start learning that he's nothing but a talented loose cannon.
Unfortunately, there's a lot of them floating around out there these days.