There's patriarchy, and then there's whatever the hell the Duggars have going on.
If you watch Counting On online, you know that Jim Bob and Michelle have a tried and true method for ensuring that their kids don't engage in any pre-marital ...
... well, anything!
Jim Bob in particular guards his daughters like expensive pieces of property because he somehow got the impression that the Bible wants him to.
We think it was in the book of Douche-ronomy. #BibleBurn
The Duggars believe it's their sacred duty to populate the Earth with as many Duggars as possible.
An odd mission, considering they can't even keep the kids they have from molesting people, but they seem to take it pretty seriously.
In fact, they've devised a clever system:
By ensuring that their offspring are beyond sexually frustrated by the time they get married, Jim Bob and Michelle know they'll immediately begin copulating like it's going out of style as soon as they get hitched!
It's called "courting," and it may be the only aspect of their lives in which the Arkansas family believes in equality.
In other words, it sounds like the process of getting to know a significant other is equally hellish for both participants.
At this point, the Duggars are almost as famous for their courtship methods as they are for their scandals and their fertility, and new information about this odd custom seems to emerge every few months or so.
If you watched last week's episode of Counting On, you may have picked up on a seriously WTF detail of the Duggars' courtship process:
It seems Jim Bob makes his daughters' potential suitors fill out a 50-page questionnaire before they commence with the courtship process!
This disturbing nugget of information was revealed during the Counting On after show (because every freakin' show has an after-show in the world of #PeakTV).
JB casually mentioned the document while being interviewed by producer Scott Enlow.
"I'm sorry, wait a second Jim Bob made you guys fill out questionnaires?" Enlow asked, prompting an eruption of nervous laughter from daughter Jessa Duggar.
"I think that questionnaire is pretty thorough," she interjected.
"He is not kidding," Jill Duggar confirmed.
"Everybody did the 30-page questionnaire," Jill added, noting that it had expanded to 50 pages in recent years.
Apparently, the questionnaire primarily focused on the respondents' religious beliefs and how they pertain to their lifestyle.
Jeremy Vuolo, who recently got engaged to Jinger Duggar, and has often been accused of breaking courtship rules, stated:
"The major question, where I spent most of my time was ''tell me about how you became a Christian, how you came to the Lord.'"
Yeah, we're pretty sure Jesus was big on judging other people and grilling them about their religious beliefs.
Or maybe not.
What do we know?
Now that we think about it, we've never had to take a 50-page test about our religious convictions before. Hmm ...