Corey Feldman Cries, Fears For His Life Following Today Performance

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If you've been on social media at any point in the past 72 hours, there's a good chance you've witnessed this monstrosity: 

That's Corey Feldman and his band of "angels" performing what can generously be described as a song on the Today show last week.

It's anyone's guess as to what Corey was thinking when he decided to dress up like a middle-aged skate park narc and do the robot on national television. 

When it comes to what's on Corey's mind these days, however, we don't have to speculate.

The Feld Man took to social media to tell us how he's feeling in the wake of what one Twitter user described as his "EDM exorcism," and it turns out he's not thrilled by the overwhelmingly negative response.

In a since-deleted live Facebook video, Feldman - who was joined by one of the young women he exploits - openly wept and compared the reaction to his unexpectedly viral performance to the persecution faced by minorities in America.

(We're guessing the clip isn't the only unexpectedly viral thing in the House of Corey.) 

Corey Feldman: Celebrity Wife Swap

"We just wanted to tell everybody that, like, it's been really painful," Feldman said.

"We put ourselves out there and we did the best that we could. And, like, I've never had such mean things said about me — like, constantly."

Feldman has a special message for folks who think an '80s child star doing straight-faced Michael Jackson impressions while members of his sex cult pretend to play instruments on a morning show is weird:

"It wasn't that weird," he told the camera.

Okay, then.

We can't get out of bed right now," said a noticeably out-of-bed Mr. Feldman.

"We're petrified to even go out ... And I'm sorry, but we just wanted the world to know, like, we're really freaked out over this and it's really not fair." 

Corey Feldman in 2013

Feldman sobbed as he went on to liken the experience of having people poke fun at your terrible to music to ... missing a finger?

"Why is it OK to publicly shame us?" he asked.

"It's, like, not [politically correct] to, like, say somebody is fat or somebody is white or somebody is black or somebody is yellow or green or if they have a short leg or if they have a missing finger.

"Like, we can't talk about these things. But it's OK to bash Corey Feldman and the Angels?"

Yeah, guys.

Making fun of a wealthy white guy who's never been told that his music is awful because he only interacts with desperate young women who rely on him financially is just like mocking someone for ... having a short leg.

Man, it's hard to even sarcastically re-phrase Corey's argument.

But hey, don't weep for the mind-bogglingly out of touch Mr. Feldman.

Every month he gets a Goonies royalty check about five times the size of your mortgage payment.

All those young women aren't living with him because they love the strict terms of the contract he makes them sign. 

(Yes, sadly, that's a real thing.)

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