When the news that Angelina Jolie had filed for divorce from Brad Pitt first went public, it was widely assumed that the iconic actor had been caught in an affair.
It's not hard to see why so many jumped to this conclusion.
After all, with Pitt's laid back demeanor, it's hard to imagine him engaged in any blow-out fights, and he always seemed to be dote=ing on his wife and kids whenever the family was spotted in public.
That left infidelity as the most viable theory (Hey, we like our celebrities' personal lives to adhere to narratives as tidy as their movies in this country!), and between Pitt's history and a handful of recent rumors, it seemed like the tabloids wouldn't have to work very hard to make their case.
Anonymous sources began spinning a tale about Pitt sleeping with Marion Cotillard while the two of them were filming the upcoming Allied.
Photos of the couple kissing while in character were presented as incontrovertible proof of their affair.
But as the day of the surprise announcement wore on, the truth began to emerge, and it seems it's far less scandalous than originally thought.
It seems that like millions of Americans, Brad (at least in his spouse's eyes) has a tendency to overdue it on the pot and booze.
Earlier today, insiders emerged with stories about Pitt drinking heavily on the set of By the Sea (in which he co-starred with Jolie, who also directed) in 2014, just a few months after the A-listers got hitched.
The most reliable sources in the gossip game (People, TMZ, Us Weekly etc.) corroborated stories about Jolie asking Pitt to cool it on the smoking and drinking, and indeed, some of Pitt's own interviews seem to bear that out.
Here's Brad in 2009, telling Bill Maher that he quit smoking weed in order to better focus on being a dad:
At least he doesn't deny that he was, at one point, a masterful joint roller.
Now, here's Quentin Tarantino appearing on Jimmy Kimmel that same year and telling tales about getting epically loaded and lit with Pitt while casting Inglourious Basterds.
Sure, it's possible that Tarantino is exaggerating.
After all, who wouldn't want to go on TV and tell tales about getting wasted with Brad freakin' Pitt.
(Plus, if you've ever seen the bloodshed in the QT's movies, you know he has a flare for the hyperbolic.)
But here's Pitt telling pretty much the exact same story at a press conference:
Okay, so he lowered the number of bottles drained bottles of wine by one.
The point is, Pitt clearly has repeatedly claimed over the years that he sobered when he had kids.
However, he legally adopted his oldest two children in 2005, and Jolie gave birth to the couple's daughter Shiloh in 2006.
Casting for Basterds wasn't completed until summer of 2008, but even if Tarantino and Pitt's bender took place a full year prior, Pitt would have already been a father of three.
None of this is intended to shame Pitt and drag his reputation for the mud.
In fact, quite the opposite.
We're just trying to cement the case that Pitt wasn't sleeping around on Jolie, but rather, it was a simple conflict in lifestyle choices that led them to part ways.
Hey, who wouldn't want to bail after waking up to find a drunk and stoned Tarantino rambling about kung-fu classics of the early '70s at 4 am?
Just kidding, Quentin!