In his NBA days, Dennis Rodman was nicknamed "the Worm."
Now we know he didn't earn that moniker because of his vigilant efforts to protect the appendage between his legs.
Rodman sat for an interview with the Viceland TV network recently, and instead of discussing his bizarre friendship with Kim Jong-Un, the two-time NBA All-Star focused on an even more cringeworthy topic.
It seems Dennis Rodman has had the misfortune of breaking his penis on three separate occasions.
The first time, Rodman was drinking and doing drugs on a yacht, which we imagine is a pretty typical day in the life of Dennis Rodman.
After an ill-advised experiment involving "running and jumping" and landing in position for sex, well ... we'll just let him tell it:
“She’s screaming and screaming, ‘Oh my God, he’s dead,'” Rodman recalled. “I said, ‘No, honey, I just broke my dick.'”
The unfortunate sequels to that story are like Jaws II and III:
They're every bit as bloody, but not quite as entertaining.
Naturally, all those dong fractures have taken a toll on Rodman's worm.
He says the thing now rocks a zig-zag shape, which the ladies seem to find pleasing.
Well, whatever the case, it seems Dennis knows a thing or two about crooked penises.
We'll resist the urge to draw a connection between that fact and Rodman's recent endorsement of Donald Trump.
Maybe he just likes things that unexpectedly go in different directions a lot!